Does councilling / therapy help ?

[karenb6702]

Hi
I called to make an appointment today ( she hasn’t called back yet ) to see a therapist after my husband leaving me for another woman .
I am really struggling to even start to accept it let alone even try to move on .
Has anyone found therapy helpful ?
What kind of things do you talk about ?
I don’t want to waste any money that I can hardly afford .
Thank you

Yes I found it good. Pity it's so godamn expensive!!

The whole separation process will still be very hard but it helped me fix a few things with myself that better enabled me to cope with what was going on - if that makes sense. My confidence and self esteem took an absolute bartering but counseling helped make me see that this wasn't my fault and that I am actually a nice person!

Plus just offloading it all into someone impartial was also good.

Good luck

Thank you
Yes it’s going to be £70 which I can I’ll afford but I think if I don’t get help then I’ll never get through this .
I don’t think I will be able to get through this to be honest but least I can say I’ve tried

I tried counselling but I didn't like it, possibly because I didn't like the counsellor. Tried another one but I wasn't in the right frame of mind.
That's just me though, and in your position I would try it.
Good luck and best wishes.

Counselling can really help. And watch some Ted talks, YouTube videos etc on the subject. You'll realise you're not alone and that you will come out the other side.
Can you talk to any friends for support?

I see a counsellor. I basically looked at the profiles on the BACP webpage of everyone within a 30 mile radius and picked someone I liked the sound of. I don't have any experience of anything like this but I chose well. I knew the minute I met her she was right for me and find it immensely helpful.

People say things like - you don't need counselling box, you are fine. I credit her with making me see that my marriage was never going to be the loving fulfilling relationship I wanted it to be.

H was very good at manipulating.

I talk about things and occasionally she will say something that I think about long after I have left which allows me to see something in a different light. I cant imagine not going right now and I thought I would have stopped by now. I go twice a month.

Hi
Yeah I have a couple of friends that have been brilliant but they have their own family/ work/ life to be getting on with I don’t want to keep burdening them with my issues all the time .
I just feel so alone and I don’t know what to do to stop feeling like this .

I don’t think I will be able to get through this to be honest but least I can say I’ve tried

To who are you referring to when you say ‘at least I can say I’ve tried*? If it’s your cheating H you are referring to, then he isn’t interested in hearing if you’ve tried or not.

Yes counselling can be very helpful. I went to one for childhood issues and I wish I’d gone years before because it has made such a difference to how I feel about the past. I can still fell upset sometimes but the anger has gone, which is much healthier for me.

You obviously need to get on ok with the therapist, I emailed mine a few times with questions and she was very helpful and informative so I went with her.

I saw a counselor after a break up. I was fine at first and then fell to pieces about 3 months after the event. It was really odd as I was thinking of ending it with him because something wasnt right.

I got 6 sessions through work and then paid for another 4 myself. It was great to just be able to talk to someone who didnt judge me. She tried her best to make me see that none of it was my fault and that he had a narcissistic personality. That he had controlled me and that as much as I tried to find an explanation that there wasnt one to be found.

I credit her for getting me over the crisis that I found myself in. She has made me realise that I have been on my own all my life and that I have a need to belong to someone. I am hoping that if I ever do meet someone again that I will realise that I dont have to hang on to them at all costs, even when its not right. It hasnt made me feel any different about myself though - I still have low esteem but at least I am aware of it.

Really it was just great to have someone to cry to, to talk to about him and who just listened without telling me that my feelings were wrong.

You can self refer on the NHS website if you can’t really afford it.

I went & saw my GP for a referral, had a telephone assessment 2 weeks later then started therapy about 2-3 weeks after that. I think this was quick as I was warned a 4-6 week wait after assessment.

It has been transforming for me. She’s given me lots to think about, breathing exercises, coping strategies etc. Plus it’s great to have a ‘safe place’ to talk, ask questions, ponder issues and feel listened to.

Good luck

I found counselling helped me understand 'why' I felt the way I did/do and gave me some tips to help manage the situation, but didn't make me feel better overall.

The best way I describe it is that it rearranged the pieces of the jigsaw so they make more sense, but the picture remains the same.

I'm no happier, I just understand why I'm unhappy.