Dreading my family's visit after baby is born

[Monipop84]

I am dreading my family's visit after baby is born is a week's time. I have a narcissistic mother, and enabler father. Mother is prone to tantrums and making everything about herself, at all times - many celebrations were spoilt by her fickle moods over insubstantial matters. An explosive argument at Xmas on the date of their visit - straight away after the birth ("It's their choice, not ours") left us barely speaking for the last trimester. They refused to wait two weeks like we asked, yet they are acting like they are the victims and deserve an apology. I am truly done with this childish behaviour and drama - but hoped they would at least behave just before/after the birth. Nada - my mother seems crazier than ever, on the rare occasions we interact over phone/Whatsapp. Luckily they are staying in a hotel, while my younger brother is with us (still invasive, but he's a good egg). DH is under instructions to boot them out if my mother starts with her crazy tantrums again, but still - I am supposed to have emotional support, not being dragged down by an old bitter woman FFS!

"I am truly done with this childish behaviour and drama - but hoped they would at least behave just before/after the birth"

It is really not possible to have a relationship with a narcissist and for that matter their willing enabler. Many adult children of narcissists fall into such a trap of thinking such re them behaving despite their own personal experiences over many years to the contrary.

What are your boundaries like here with regards to your parents?. They are low mainly because you've never been encouraged to have any.

You becoming parents will make them narcissistic grandparents. Neither have changed, your mother will remain narcissistic and your dad will still be her willing enabler and hatchet man. She will eye up your child as a source of narc supply and could well use that person against you as his/her parents. Your family unit certainly need to stay well away from both your parents because as night follows day you know deep down they will not behave decently and she will make this all about her. Your dad will continue to enable her in all this for his own reasons.

What do you mean re your younger brother being invasive but a good egg. Surely this is contradictory?.

At the very least you will need to further lower all contact levels possibly to a point of zero. If your H's parents are nice I would concentrate on them.