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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

22 year old son

3 replies

jaqeeee · 03/04/2019 23:46

I don’t know if this is the right place to put this as it’s mostly teenagers I did read a very old thread regarding this type of situation.
Basically my 22 year old son had to go to his dads as a few years ago his behaviour was such that the police were called he was very angry verbally abusive and smashed the place up . I had to move into a two bed with my daughter as couldn’t afford to support all three of us . He left college didn’t do well at school since he’s been at his dads he’s not worked but signing on it’s been nearly two years now he is calmer a lovely young man ...but only if he’s doing what he wants if confronted or asked about work or help and support his temper flares up again..his dad has just kicked him out as they had a huge row again he was verbally abusive and extremely confrontational . He came to ours to stay for a couple of days then said he had had a row .His dad won’t have him back he can’t stay with us financially and also if asked to do anything with work help support he gets angry it feels like Groundhog Day I go from utter sadness to anger and frustration when we lived together when it was really bad I was scared and anxious all the time .its not as bad but I can feel it bubbling underneath all the time .he won’t get help he won’t engage with anything I’m exhausted and scared and worried . When I try and talk with him about moving forward he tends to railroad me repeating same words and turns into this arrogant mean person 😔😔

OP posts:
Fidgety31 · 03/04/2019 23:49

I have a son who is 22 next month. Your boy sounds like he has been struggling for a long time - maybe with something undiagnosed ?
It may be that he doesn’t know how to seek help and everyone around him is quick to judge and punish rather than try to find the cause of his problems ?
He clearly needs help - is there someone not in the family/ not emotionally involved that could chat to him ?

SandyY2K · 03/04/2019 23:54

He's going to cause damage to your mental health.

Wouldn't he qualify for housing benefit to get his own place?

You may need to have a stern word and tell him you can't afford to support him and there's no space, so he has to find somewhere to live.

I would never turn away my own DC, but they would never behave as your DS behaves.

Aquamarine1029 · 04/04/2019 02:18

He's 22 and his choices are out of your hands. Don't allow him back into your home. It's time for him to make his own way.

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