Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Emotional abuse, 7 months pregnant

12 replies

baileycreaney123 · 03/04/2019 21:57

I am nearly 7 months pregnant and my partner is emotionally abusive. He has been telling other women in the locality that I am only his 'friend' and when I went to meet his brother last weekend he stumbled drunk over to a group of women he didn't know and told them that 'his brother and girlfriend were over there and that he 'wasn't bothered' talking or sitting with us.
I confront him about his behaviour but he doesn't take any responsibility and instead erupts with anger and calls me the crazy one. Yesterday he threatened to contact child protection services and said that I was ' mentally unstable' and 'the type of woman who would drown herself and her newborn baby in a lake' because I called him out for publicly humiliating me. He has given me the silent treatment ever since.
I'm renting his mother's house at the minute and have no other place to live up until the birth of my baby and am afraid if I leave him that he will convince his mother to throw me out. Has anyone any advice for me?

OP posts:

Samind · 03/04/2019 22:00

He sounds bloody awful!! Any friends or family close by? Women's aid?

bluebell34567 · 03/04/2019 22:03

agree, contact women's aid asap. they will help you urgent.

IHateUncleJamie · 03/04/2019 22:58

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/helpline/

You need to phone womens aid now

LovingLola · 03/04/2019 23:02

Have you family or friends that can help you to get away from him?

JaneEyre07 · 03/04/2019 23:05

Don't make excuses. You need help to get away.

Call CPS yourself and tell them you think you and your baby could be in danger if you don't get help.

Be strong.

Susanna30 · 03/04/2019 23:09

Well, clearly you need to get away from him and fast!! For the sake of your child.

There is support out there and you need to be strong enough to go and find it, urgently.

Original poster

baileycreaney123 · 03/04/2019 23:24

My family have advised me to keep my head down and suffer it until the baby is born (he doesn't live with me, I just rent his Mother's house) and try and be as civil as possible, and save as much money as possible, then plot my escape after the baby is born as too much stress and upheaval might cause myself and the baby damage? I cannot stay with my family as they have no room for myself and the baby, they only live in a two bedroomed house.

OP posts:

Jux · 03/04/2019 23:35

Personally,I imagine that you would find it a lot easier to get out before the baby's born. Why endure however much longer it is before thebirth when you could be free of him and his nastiness - get all that stress out of your life now.

Phone women's aid.

Is this your first baby?

Most people are exhausted enough when they're looking after a newborn, without all the difficulties of finding a new home and moving into it, packing, unpacking etc. Makes me tired just thinking about it!

There's never a better time to do a thing which needs to be done than now.

LovingLola · 03/04/2019 23:38

I think in that case your best bet is to contact Women’s Aid ASAP and take their advice
I assume you are working? And have money ?

Original poster

baileycreaney123 · 04/04/2019 01:11

Thanks for all the advice.
No I'm not working at the minute, so money is problematic.
This is my first born and I want to do everything right, I just get very easily stressed when emotionally abused (as anyone would)
I'm going to contact Women's Aid. Perhaps they can help.

OP posts:

IHateUncleJamie · 04/04/2019 09:27

My family have advised me to keep my head down and suffer it until the baby is born

No, this is bad advice. Would they say this if he was hitting and kicking you? Emotional abuse is just as damaging as any other type of abuse.

It will be much more difficult logistically to leave once the baby is born. Please phone Womens Aid today. xx

Thingsdogetbetter · 04/04/2019 10:09

If you keep your head down until baby is born does that mean you planning to allow his name on birth cert. Because that seems like a fucken mental idea. Giving equal parental rights to an abusive man is not a great plan. And do you think that his mother won't kick you out if you split up with him after the baby is born? You're leaving a lot to chance!

Is your gp or hv aware of what's happening?. Have you been to the housing dept, and are you on the list? What kind of tenancy do you have at mother's house?

I would consider leaving him asap, if you're made homeless then the council will need to temp house you. While short term horrible, best to do before you have the baby.

You're being too passive and assuming you have no options. Get seriously proactive and seek out help before baby is born.

Flip