For those who split finances, how are childrens costs and savings managed?

[AK86xo]

I'm considering splitting finances with my DH for a number of reasons. I'm thinking mortgage will be 50/50, then all bills and expenses e.g. energy, sky, groceries etc. will be as a proportion of our income. DH earns twice a much as me so he will be 2/3 and I will pay 1/3. Anything outside of this is ours to do as we wish. We intend to have children in the near future, so I imagine all child related costs would fall under the proportion of income section? And should we both be putting away x amount a month for their future (university fees, house deposit) in savings? In addition, should we as a couple be putting away an amount into savings for house repairs and holidays or is this not necessary and it is on us to save it individually and give it as and when it is needed?

And we both know we spend too much on dd - but that’s part of being A parent...

Oh's wages go into our joint account (im a sahp), all bills and petrol come out of that. We have a separate account that we transfer a set amount into for food shopping and use that over the month as required for big shops/extra milk/emergency chocolate.

We then each take a set and equal amount into our own personal account to spend on whatever we like. Then what's left in the joint account goes into our joint savings account which we dip into as and when needed.

I get child benefit but that is spent purely on clubs and classes for the children. We don't save for them but will once they're older and I can get back to work we will.

No, I most definitely will not drain my own savings during maternity

I find it sad that someone feels they have to provide for themselves during maternity in a relationship/marriage however ...

If you want to follow this line then maybe you should set up a cohabitation agreement and also ring fence your own assets prior to meeting . Regardless of all the accounts you have unless you have agreed legally then it all goes in the "pot" in the event of a breakup .

Men who let women drain their savings for looking after the mans child need to be presented with a bill for their half of the childcare and cleaning that they have received from the woman “for free”

All money into one pot, equal (small) amounts of spends out of it. One pot pays for everything and when it can goes towards savings, overpaying mortgage, etc. Sometimes we have contributed similar amounts to the pot, sometimes one more than the other. I find it hard to imagine being married to someone and not trusting each other enough to have this arrangement...