Lonely and tired

[Slippersandsnacks]

New to Mumsnet so hey all :)

So I think I needed a safe place to talk.

I'm 31 and realised the last few months that the friends I have aren't real friends, they aren't trustworthy, genuine, loving and I don't feel like I can be me around them. They seem so fake and judgey and everything seems to be a competition.

My husband is wonderful and I love him a lot, but has his own business and is golf obsessed (urgh) so he isn't around as much as I'd like and when he is, he's tired or working. We do have family time but I never feel like he's totally present. For example, we're moving house next week and he's off on a golf holiday for 4 days with his friends tomorrow, leaving me to pack up the house and care for our son. It sucks and I feel unsupported.

I have a big family but to be honest, they all have their own lives and again, zero one of them are trustworthy or seem to really care, and just gossip and share EVERY piece of info they have with each other. They support my elder sister with her daughter and whenever she snaps her fingers but no one has really bothered with me or my son in 2 years. It's sad and draining.

I just feel so alone. I have a son who's nearly 2, and he's just beautiful and I strive to be the best mum I can. We're always out and about and doing lovely things, or when staying in being crafty at home. But he's such hard work at the moment and everything I do is met with a long, HUGE tantrum. I appreciate this is terrible 2's but I don't get a break. I'm exhausted and lonely. I wish I had a decent, mature friend who's just honest and easy to be around. I feel such a loser that I don't have real friend when I think I'm decent to be around.

I've joined groups and sport stuff, but I'm always so bloody tired that when it comes to going to them I just wanna lie in the bath and mentally switch off. I've found I feel like this when it comes to hobbies too. Always so tired or rundown to do anything for me.

Sorry to moan, I'm not usually such a negative nora, but I feel so lost, lonely, tired and frustrated.

Xx

I feel you. These early years are very hard. Isolating. It's not ok that your husband is leaving you with no time for a break.

It's vital that you bring it up with him. TELL him....don't ask....tell him that you will be taking an evening or a weekend day each week for yourself.

This time should be for you to do what you like. I know you don't fancy clubs or anything...so you could just rest or go for a treatment or a swim or something?

I remember feeling like you...Im 46 now though and our DC are 14 and 11 so things are very different.

Could you put your son in nursery a couple of days a week for a start?

Are you packing up the house by yourself?
If so then, sod that. Book a moving company quick sharp.
You should not be left to do all of that.
They will pack up - mark up boxes and unpack the other end.
Please do this.

Can you talk to your 'D'H about any of this?
That you feel unsupported and put upon and you are exhausted?
Could you go back to work part-time.
It's so important to have some adult interaction.