DH comment on other woman's looks

[kimchidominates]

Regular poster but have NC for this. AIBU to be upset that DH said my friend is ‘very pretty’? We were on an anniversary weekend away, this was over dinner, both slightly tipsy. First night away since DC2 was born. I am feeling postpartum and unattractive and have lost a lot of confidence. Didn’t want to ruin the weekend so didn’t make an issue of it but have been thinking about it and am actually quite upset. Would you be upset about this? Can’t tell if I’m blowing it out of proportion or not. I don’t know if I should say something as I don’t want it to fester but also don’t want to seem petty and insecure by bringing it up again.

How did it come up? Were you taking about her and saying you thought she was pretty and he agreed or did he bring it up?

I know my dh thinks my bf is attractive and she really is stunning so it's obvious most men would!

So that doesn't bother me. He's allowed to have an opinion on other women as I am about other men. Doesn't mean either of us think any less of each other.

Depends on the context really. I don't think it would bother me really as DH and I would tell each other what we thought about people's appearance without there being any suggestion of attraction in it..

Speaking for myself, I can see someone is attractive. Doesn’t mean I would ever do anything about it or the thought even crossing my mind. No actual sexual attraction if you see what I mean. It wouldn’t bother me if DH agreed with me that a woman was good looking, but if he had the thought himself, I’d prefer he kept it to himself! I can see though that it wouldn’t feel great if you are feeling a bit down on yourself. 💐

context is everything!

It's only an expression OP, nothing of sexual nature reading your post.

Does your DH compliment your looks? I tell my DP one of his mates looks handsome, this is just an innocent expression as I don't even fancy him nor am I attracted to him.

Overall, it won't bother me.

Can’t tell if I’m blowing it out of proportion or not

You’re blowing it out of proportion.

As a woman I have commented positivly to friends of both sexes about apoearance of another.

Well it depends on what the conversation was.

I can spot an attractive man. Or even an attractive woman. It doesnt mean I fancy them more than dp or secretly want to be with them instead of dp.

Theres a woman in my office who is gorgeous. I mean actually, stop you in your tracks, gorgeous. I dine fancy her and certainly not interested in sleeping with her.

You need to elaborate on the context please

Curious as to why you would NC about this as it really doesn't seem to warrant it unless there is some massive back story or drip feed approaching.

I think it massively depends on the context. But I totally get why it would make you feel shitty if you already feel like you have no confidence

Thanks for the replies, sorry I have been at work so couldn’t post. To be honest I’m glad most people think I’m overreacting. As for context, I thought my original post had covered it but apols if not. We were having dinner, it was our anniversary, we were having a tipsy gossipy chat about people we know and he mentioned that she’s very pretty. I just felt it was a bit insensitive and not nice to hear on our anniversary when I feel a bit below par after giving birth. But I realise it’s my insecurity making me feel bad. He tells me I’m pretty all the time. And I know this woman is objectively attractive I just didn’t want to hear it from my DH. But I’m over it to be honest and I’m sure once I’m feeling better in myself I won’t even think about it, I was just looking for some honest opinions on how others might feel in that situation. And I only nc'd as I'm a little embarrassed about coming across as a jealous insecure wreck. That's not me at all!

I’d be pissed off too in the circumstances you describe. The only time my Dh would comment on a woman’s attractiveness is if it was pertinent to the conversation.

I agree with @Tinkerbell456

There was no sexual intention there n wording or context...there's a difference between "pretty" and "hot" the latter has sexual intent/sexual undertone to it...

It sounds innocent enough but everyone feels like shit after giving birth, so I understand your sensitivity to it. Presumably as a couple have the type of relationship where under 'normal' circumstances that would be okay, but he was a bit clumsy in the (postpartum) timing.

Forgive and forget x

I'd forget about it. It would annoy me too but i guess the reality is men do find other women attractive but it doesn't mean anything for your marriage and there's probably no intention behind it. I would however keep my dh out of this ladys way ! (Discreetly! But that's just me)

In those circumstances it was a big faux pas and inconsiderate of your DH, but you say he compliments you, so would let it go, this time!