Concerns about dating again

[WatermelonsSoSweet]

Firstly, a big shout-out to MN for confirming that my ex was abusive and encouraging me not to contact him.
I've only ever been in one relationship. My ex was really awful (verbal abuse, silent treatment, etc.) However, as we were both fairly young (19 and 20) I feel that I also could have handled some things more maturely.
I'd really like to meet someone new, and I know there are wonderful people out there. However, I'm worried that some of the issues from my past relationship will resurface. I'll give two examples:
Clinginess/insecurity (on my part). I had (and still probably have) fewer friends than my ex did, and was much more introverted. Since he wasn't always faithful, I found myself feeling very insecure. I wouldn't want to have this same feeling when dating someone else, and am worried I would come across to a future date as insecure.
The second aspect for which I am concerned is different world perceptions. I believe that the world is overall a wonderful place, with most people being genuinely kind and caring. I strongly believe in the importance of helping others, but also that free time should be spent doing hobbies and activities that one likes. My ex, on the other hand, feels that the world is a really fucked-up place, and that most free time should be spent working to improve and better it. He thought that people spend too much time doing things for themselves, and when they do so they are sitting there allowing the world to be continually messed up. These opposing views were a huge issue for us, and I'm worried that anyone I date in the future will feel the same way as him and cause more arguments. (Not sure how normal his world view is).
Am I right in thinking that I could have similar issues with others I date in the future? Thanks for allowing me to get this down.

I say this all the time on threads, but I do recommend doing the Freedom Programme, if you haven’t already done so. It could help you to recognise the warning signs for abusive partners, so if you did meet another man like your ex you could perhaps recognise this sooner and avoid. Doing it in a group setting could help you to make some new friends too.

You could meet another man with the same world views as your ex but equally you might not. You are free to end any relationship with anyone at any time. If someone displays behaviours or ideas you don’t like walk away. If you take dating nice and slow you should get an idea of what someone is like.

First of all well done for walking away OP

You felt like this with your ex because you didn’t share the same values and beliefs. He made you feel insecure and clingy because he was abusive! The right relationship shouldn’t make you feel like this and you can find out early on what someone’s beliefs and values are so when you do start dating again just be sure to find out this stuff then to figure out if you are both truly compatible or not.

Sharing the same values in life (in my opinion) is the most important foundation of any relationship. At least you now know exactly what to avoid in someone ;)

Good luck x

I agree that the Freedom project or seeing a councellor would help as it seems like your last relationship has left you with issues you need to talk through.

As for world views, not everyone will think the same way as your ex. My ex and I were polar opposites and had very different views on the world and it made things very difficult as we could struggle to understand each other and barely agreed on anything. My boyfriend and I are on the same wavelength and it just makes things so much easier.