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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I need help to get someone out of my head

33 replies

Unbelievable18 · 01/04/2019 14:53

It has been too long thinking about this person day in and day out. I guess I think I love him or at least love the idea of him. He is not a good person to me. Sporadic contact doesn't help (yes, I know I need to block him). I have never told him how I feel but it won't make a difference to him, at least I imagine it won't.

How can I just move on? I wish I could erase all the memories but I can't obviously. I am fed up of having him on my mind.

OP posts:

noego · 03/04/2019 21:19

There is a lot going on there OP. Therapy for self esteem and self worth. You have been abused emotionally for a couple of years. It is time to turn the page and start a new chapter, but you need to get yourself right emotionally.

Original poster

Unbelievable18 · 04/04/2019 15:16

@Howdoisortthis I don't actually know. Maybe it is because I don't want to hear the answer.

@noego, why do you think it is emotional abuse?

OP posts:

noego · 04/04/2019 15:20

You don't?

People do not treat people like that!!

Howdoisortthis · 04/04/2019 17:00

@Howdoisortthis - I’m trying to get over someone too I’ve been reading about how uncertainty fuels the limerence. It made a lot of sense to me, the man I was involved with would neither admit or deny his feelings. It was the uncertainty that kept me hanging on.
Not sure if the link below will work because I’m new to this but it might help you with your feelings.. hope so!
livingwithlimerence.com/2018/08/17/living-with-uncertainty/

Howdoisortthis · 04/04/2019 17:01

@Unbelievable18 sorry that was meant for you!! ☺️

Original poster

Unbelievable18 · 05/04/2019 10:58

@Howdoisortthis, thank you so much for the link to that article, it rings very true for me and speaks a lot of sense...wow! Thanks.

OP posts:

Howdoisortthis · 05/04/2019 13:00

@Unbelievable18 glad it helped the whole website has articles and posts that I’ve been able to relate to. It’s helped me loads... x

beenwhereyouare · 05/04/2019 15:05

It sounds like your counseling was talk-based therapy. Another poster was on the money about psychotherapy. Talk therapy identifies the why or how things happen but it sounds like you'd benefit more from CBT or other forms of psychotherapy. One that includes learning strategies and doing tasks that help you change your behavior.
The link to this article says depression and anxiety but is a very good description of each kind of therapy and what they're for. Yoga and meditation (mindfulness) may be a great way to reinforce lessons, but you might need a little more guidance, at least to start.
Good luck!💜
www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/types-of-therapy/

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