Is this it for us now?

[pansydansy]

Me and dh had a massive argument yesterday. I called him some horrific things in anger and I'm not sure if I meant what I said. I spend so much time hating him that I don't know if I even love him anymore. We have to small children and been together 8 years. Money has put a huge strain on our relationship and I'm just sad all the time. If truth be told I think I have depression. I haven't been to the doctors yet because quite frankly I couldn't afford the prescriptions.

I've told dh it's over, but I'm not 100% sure that's what I want. And now after this argument with the name calling I'm not sure how you can go back after that. I'm so confused and have a huge headache from thinking about it. We also suffered a miscarriage not that long ago and it's deeply affected me. I don't know what I should do anymore.

Regardless of your relationship, you need to see your GP for help. There might be more options you can afford. I'm sure posters with more experience of deppression will be posting soon.

I've just called and made an appointment. Something needs to be done I can't go on like this. Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.

When is your appointment? Hope it goes well and your GP is as nice as mine.

I'd try marriage counselling first before being so drastic as to split up. Apologise for what you said and suggest counselling.

Oh love. I had a fully fledged breakdown in similar circs. We had a second trimester loss, dh lost his job, we were almost homeless. I thought I couldn’t afford the prescriptions etc, so put it off for so long. But I had therapies. Try talking to your h does he know how you feel?

@ReturnfromtheStars Thursday afternoon. The doctor I wanted to see (he helped get me an early scan when I knew I'd miscarried) doesn't have a slot until the 28th which I felt was to long. So I'm seeing one who is a bit weird 🙈 and who I avoid seeing ever.

Dh and I aren't really talking. He comes home puts the kids to bed, showers then goes off to our room to watch tv. I think things have gone too far now. You can't take back words and I know he's deeply hurt. I'm just numb, I couldn't care less at this point 😔

Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that pansydansy. It's good of you to give the weird one a chance... but sorry to say my intuition so far has worked with GP-s and the weird ones just... stayed weird... and only added problems rather than solutions.

If you do see weird GP could you bring a friend?

Or keep ringing surgery to see if someone cancelled and nice one has a slot? Nice GP is booked up for a reason.

Sorry about DH and you not talking. I'm useless in relationship advice and won't go there. Do you love him? That's always a good starting point to re-build. We are only humans after all.

I've told dh it's over, but I'm not 100% sure that's what I want

So what do you think you want?

I called him some horrific things in anger and I'm not sure if I meant what I said

What did you say? Some things are easier to get over than others.

Can you tell your DH that you've made an appointment with the GP, that you're concerned about your mental health and ask that nobody does anything towards ending the relationship until you've started some form of treatment / counselling / whatever the GP recommends?

From your posts, it's clear you're grieving, stressed and upset. You're not in the right frame of mind to make major decisions right now.
Your DH may be hurt but he's still there which could say a lot.

Have you ever attempted a journal OP? Write down everything in your head, the pain, the anger, the things you love and hate about your DH, your life in general etc. Just get it out - it helps me a lot (I have PCOS, ttc with no luck for years and some of my entries are awful and full of anger but it's cathartic)

Hope your GP app went well OP

If you explained your depression to your husband, I'm sure he will understand. Things are said in the heat of the moment and in anger. You've both been under a lot of stress. Please be kind to yourself.
I hope your appointment goes well and you get help as this is the top priority at the moment.

Sorry guys have only just seen these messages.

I saw the weird gp yesterday and he gave me some antidepressants. He wasn't going to at first but then changed his mind.

I've spoken to dh and apologised and I've explained all that I've been feeling lately and I'm just going to see how the next few weeks go.

I'm hoping the pills work and I go back to my old self and have a clear mind to decided what the next steps shall be.

The old saying is when money goes out the window, love flies out the door (or something similar). I think this is often why relationships are great when ‘new’ . in so many cases people aren’t aware early on of others financial situations, and when reality creeps in and you realise that the guy/woman really hasn’t got the cash for romantic dinners 3 times a week then for some it becomes less than sexy/romantic. The reality of life is the vast majority of the population struggle somewhat, just some hide it better than others. If you genuinely want to stay together, get help and have a real honest heart to heart about things

Hope you got the right pills & feeling better :)