Pregnant to my abusive ex!

[MumRose2019]

Hi, so Iv just found out 2weeks ago I am pregnant to my abusive ex!
I got with him I July2018 from then to January2019 he as been done for smashing my car, my windows my door in harassing me and physically assaulting me. The last episode was in January when I left him after social services involvement with my daughter who is not his!! In February after a few nights out I have ended up back at his house for the night! The last time I went was the begging of March when he chased me around his flat and tried hitting me because I had my brother joggers on, he thought they was somebody else’s! Since then I left and didn’t contact him again untill March 16thMarch when I had taken a positive test. He was not interested called me every name under the sun, a few days later I tried again with him. He was “talkative” then abusive. He’s demanded lie detector tests and DNA tests. What I have said I will do! The past week or so he as phoned and texted abuse all day because I can’t reply or anwser his call straight away due to been at work. On a evening when Iv finished work I try phone him and he decides to block my number, I have turned up at his flat after sending me lots of abuse and he refuses to come to the door. He will only ever speak at day time then after 7pm I am blocked.
I dont want to bring a baby into this, I am 25 with a 5year old girl and brought her up on my own. I don’t want this for another baby, yes I know I have put myself in this situation but would just like some advice from people who have been in the same situation. I love him and have chased him everyday and just feel like I am been laughed at and bullied by him! He tells me he cares about me just doubting the baby is his, he constantly checks up on me I honestly don’t know what to think anymore!

You need to sort out your priorities. If you intend to keep this baby then do you really want him as a role model in their life?

If you have a son he may copy his dad's behaviour and he'll end up with little respect for you.

If you have a daughter she'll see her Mum being treated like shit by her dad and that's what she'll think it's 'normal', and she'll grow up and likely to let men be abusive to her.

Who do you think is going to benefit him being in your child's life?

He won't change, people are abusive because of what they believe, it would be like going into a church and telling the vicar that God isn't real and getting them to change their mind.

I think that for the sake of your daughter, you need to abort. Good luck.

Social services will not play with you. He will not change, they know it and deep down, you know it. You've just got this fantasy idea in your head that a baby changes things enough for a person to change. That's very rarely the case - in most cases, the shift in dynamic makes an abuser more abusive because now they have a vessel through which to cause harm.

You will be a single mother to two children and your baby will not be able to have contact with their father or else you'll jeprodise your daughter and yourself. Social services will reopen a case at some point considering you've allowed yourself to become pregnant with his child.

So you have two options: terminate the pregnant and go no contact or keep the baby, do not put his name on the birth certificate or let him anywhere near you and your children and go no contact. Know that even if he's not on the birth certificate he could one day take you to court to force parental rights and then, well, you know that's going to be a clusterfuck and a major issue for you and your kids.

It is not safe to contact this man ever again. It is not safe to have his child. You say you've raised your daughter alone and now is the time to protect her from both of your actions.

OP you are being incredibly naive... what on Earth makes you think that he would change just because you're having his baby (which personally if I was in your situation I would be considering an abortion) He is an abuser and abusers don't care who the victim is - anyone who is vulnerable is game and that includes babies/small children who are incredibly hard work. You've already had to raise your daughter alone. I think you need to grow up, sort better contraception and maybe spend some time getting your shit together.

I just read your OP again and I want you to know that this absolutely WILL affect your daughter as even if he's not in her life, he'll be in yours and your child's by dynastic plan. The things he does or says will affect you and by extension, your parenting, lifestyle and your daughter. If he does change enough for you to let him be a part of your baby's life, the things he does and says to him or her (and to you) will affect your daughter because of the aforementioned reasons and also because the burden will always be on your other child who will talk and be affected.

This is how you fuck a kid up and then say "but it wasn't meeeee". Grow up.

Please have an abortion!

Then you can make a clean start just you and your daughter.

Don't bring a baby into this, you will be forever tied, as will your children.