Mothers Day when you’re not quite NC

[IsThisYourSanderling]

I have an awful relationship with my mother, mainly due to unaddressed mental health issues of hers, and lots of built up resentment on my part. I have two children and she hasn’t seen them in two years (and has never met the baby), because I don’t want to see her. However there is a bit of contact: occasional emails. I’d really rather not, but I feel sorry for her. I ignore most of her mails but reply to some.

It’s an atrocious, almost nonexistent relationship, but she’s in massive denial about this. I’d feel guilty not sending a Mother’s Day card, but I’d feel false sending one. Not sure what to do. Her brother just died. It’s her birthday soon as well and I have the same dilemma for that.

What do you do?

(In case I sound harsh, I can try linking to previous threads about her behaviour if needed!)

I'm not quite as low contact as you but my mum is also in denial about her relationship with her children, and I have the same dilemna every Mother's Day (and Christmas, birthdays etc).

I don't think there's really a right answer, you just have to do what you think is best. I settle for the minimum I could live with if something bad happened.

Hope you have a lovely day with your DC, whatever you decide to do about your 'D'M

I've been nc with my mother for a few years and have this dilemma. I normally do birthday cards with a voucher from the dc. This Mother's Day I haven't sent a card. I almost feel liberated....almost!