Lonely!

[adeolaoa]

Hi guys.
I don't even know if what I'm about to type makes sense but I'm just tired of facing rejection. I will explain:

Every guy I've liked has not liked me back and sometimes, I feel like I'm chatting with a guy and we are on the same page but they just...stop! I don't know if it's something I do or it's how I look.

I met a girl who has friends that have fun. Couple of times, I've asked her if I could join them to hang out and she has said 'yes'. She's been to my house- she was just here last week and slept over- before and we are cool. I just discovered that she went out with her other friends today and put up pictures but I was not invited. I asked if they had anything planned and she said 'no'.

I've been the one always ringing my friends to ask to hang out and check on them generally. I've stopped since 2019 began and of course, no one talks to me anymore. I prefer it this way. I'm just very lonely.

I moved countries one year ago and moved cities 2 months ago. Sometimes, I enjoy the solitude but other times, I want to hang out and have fun. I know I can have fun by myself but I still feel very rejected.

I wish I knew why people don't like me. I'm nice enough. Maybe it's how I look- maybe it's my class. I don't know.

No it’s not you it’s them do you work go to school
Join some local clubs a local church find some hobbies
Do not come across desperate
do you have family sisters brothers
You will met friends

They just are not true friends ... I met some of my best friends by simply going to a pub with a book ( enjoy doing that anyhow ) observing and having a little interaction here and there ( humerus observation ... people will likely come to you ) you may find yourself making up numbers in a team game of pool ( even though you said you can’t play ) .... I have friendships that are 15 years old from that type of scenario ....I have reconnected with old school friends on Facebook and found a best friend in that ... I have also found that some of my older friends are more aquaintances now because we have just moved on in terms of life goals and personality .

Be brave ... but also if you go to the pub with a book be prepared that you may just read and have a pint and go home ( but it’s super fun to observe people on the sly anyhow ) x

Thank you @Palaver1
I work. I'll turn 30 next month so it's even sad to be feeling desperate for friendship at this stage of my life. I will try to go to a church tomorrow. I really don't have time for clubs because of my job. My family is not where I live. They're in another country.
I just feel really sad today.

Thank you @Middlrm
I will try out the pub thing as I like reading anyway. I'm not conventionally attractive and I think this contributes to why people may not really be interested in me. Oh well, can't change that now.

I'll turn 30 next month so it's even sad to be feeling desperate for friendship at this stage of my life

It's really not! Theres lots of people who for whatever reason don't come rinto regular friend--making circles. Most people make friends through work or shared interests. If you have more solitary friends or familary, that is no reflection on you.

I am not the prettiest person either I have always been over weight to some degree ... it’s confidence that makes someone attractive or at least the illusion of confidence x x

Did you only move to your present situation 2 months ago? If so give yourself time to make friends. Maybe if the others went out together they are long time friends and used to doing stuff together. I am happy to meet new people but if old friends ask me out l wouldn't bring along someone new.
Do you do any sports, join a book club or other society. Church is good for meeting people but if it's a new church give it time.
Trying not to care is best if at all possible as unfortunately people are turned off by someone trying too hard.

@kkkaren7, what a nasty bullying thing to say to someone.

Remember the meaning of your name hold it in high esteem
We live in london are you anywhere near there
Check face book.activities in your area
Remember its not you but you must get out
And about my eldest daughter is 25 and is very busy with her job not so interested in friendships but has lots of friends sometimes she wants too be with them.somtimes she does not
Im going through a divorce and loneliness comes in different measures
There are so.many things out there get an interest youll be fine ma worry all wil be well.
It can be very lonely when your not near home.x

kkkaren7 I have reported your post, as that is a very 'goady' and spiteful post.

It's nothing to do with looks op, it's aunthenticty and confidence and how people feel around you (at first). The pub idea sounds good. I think volunteering and finding groups, maybe groups that help animals or a hobby you like is a good idea. It takes a bit of time though but at least with stuff like that you are out and about with others even if they aren't all your friends. Good luck. :)

@Palaver1 your message just brought tears to my eyes. Eshey ma.
I really don't like going out too and I have a very busy job but days like today when I don't mind and I think why I feel down is more of rejection. It would have been nice to be invited especially after I asked.
I will try to go out more and do things by myself too.

@junebirthdaygirl yes. They're all old friends. Known one another for at least 10 years. Just got into the picture about a year ago. Your reply gave me another perspective. Thank you. I've decided not to take it personally.
I just moved 2 months ago and it's especially sad that I accepted the job here so as to be closer to my now ex. I broke up with him before even moving. I regret it very much as I'm far from the people I know but I'm stuck here for 3 years at least.

@Potatonose thank you. I will try and be more pro-active rather than wait to be invited out.

Dont worry your stil.missing your ex time is a healer.its not easy but soon youll look back and smile pele my dear
Do you read books look for some books go to the library

If you only moved 2 months ago you are doing well to have even spoken to people. Hang in there. Things will improve. It's never easy in the early days.