They weren't who they said they were...feel stupid

[billybobandsue]

I was talking to a woman for two weeks.
Having recently came out as bi this was new to me.
She was gorgeous but straight away I had this gut feeling she wasn't who she said.
She seemed too good to be true and things she said were off.
I said to her ..I'm starting to think you aren't who you say you are.
She replied "ok"
Then blocked me
No explanation nothing.
How could I have been so thick.

Not sure why you think you're stupid - you spotted they were dodgy quite quickly and seems you were right. As long as you didn't give them money or send them nudes, it's all good.

Its not being thick but until you actually meet someone face to face don't invest so much into it.

You expressed skepticism having never met her
She withdrew

Good on her. Life’s too short

I wasn't being skeptic she deffo wasn't who she said she was.
I could have been talking to a man for all I knew.

You havent been stupid though, have you? You were right - she wasn't the genuine person you thought she was. Chalk it up to experience and move on to the next one.

You weren't a mug though were you? You saw something was off then did something about it. You gave them a chance and you were right in your misgivings.

You expressed skepticism having never met her
She withdrew

Good on her. Life’s too short*

Wow if OPs post had been a woman talking about a man behaving like this and calling herself stupud would this have been your response? Would yph be going good on him life is to short. Given you've taken the woman's side i'm guessing not. And i'm just as guilty of presumimg tje OP is a man, but you do realise the OP could be female.

OP you havent been stupid, in fact jyst the opisite your gut feeling stopped you committing to getting in to anything more witj this woman. You expressed that doubt she realised that she cohldnt fool you. Well done on protecting yourself

Now heres where i do agree with the post i just took objection too. Life is short you've had a lucky escape. Don't dwell on it.

Sorry i've just read the OP, Again OP is indeed female so romax if OP had bee saying tjat about a man would you be going good on him

Wouldn't most people withdraw and block if someone basically called them a liar? Whether it was true or not.

You've not been stupid though, OP.

How do you know she wasn't who she said she was? In her place, I would have blocked someone who called me a liar too.

If someone expressed doubt about me and I really liked them, I’d meet up with them to reassure them.

Why did you have the gut feeling? What led you to wonder if they were genuine or not?

How does she sound dodgy?

If I was talking to someone (genuinely) for only two weeks and they told me something like that, I’d think ‘ok’, block them and move on.

She said she was a dental nurse and at work but was texting me and replying within 2 minutes.
She started asking for naked pics and I said no/then sent me a pic of her back and said she had just taken it but it was showing blonde hair ..the day before she sent me a pic and she had brown hair.
She said she had no social media.
She gave me her number after I asked ..I checked her WhatsApp and she had just downloaded it the day before.

Sounds like a bloke getting his kicks.

Not your fault - more of a fortunate escape from trusting your Spidey Sense.

She started asking for naked pics

Bloke.

Yep, bloke.

I assumed bloke too.
I don't think a woman would do that but who knows.
I did send them one pic but it was a outfit pic of a night out and it was jeans and a nice top so nothing saucy.

Having defended blokes - yep bloke with a lesbian fetish.

You really arent stupid - you escaped a perv nothing to feel foolish or stupid about

What was he hoping to do if we met up tho.
Surely he knows I would see a person who wasn't the person I thought

What was he hoping to do if we met up tho

I don't think he ever intended to meet up - there would have been endless excuses, last minute crises, etc.

What he was hoping for was pictures of you and sexy talk to wank to.

@FineWordsForAPorcupine she/he sent me a GIF of two women having sex.
That was kind of when the penny dropped
Creep

You did a good job in calling them out. A lot of people on line aren’t who they say they are. It’s not you, it’s them. It’s all about feeling them out before getting in to deep.

I have been online as well and it sucks! It’s a hard place to be especially if you are at all feeling vulnerable.

Remember, if someone else is playing games or being a shit, it’s their issues and nothing to do with you. Learn whatever you can if anything from that interaction and move on to the next.

Well done on listening to your instincts and calling him out so soon.

It's a sad reality that gay and bi women frequently encounter this sort of thing on line, especially in meet up /dating spaces. It sounds like you are pretty good already at spotting it - go with your gut if you ever get that feeling again.