I just found out my partner is smoking weed again

[tryingtobemybestme]

I just found out tonight that my partner has been lying to me about him starting to smoke weed again.

I have always hated drug use and he knows this, and when I found out it was like he didn't even care that he had upset me.

He is snoring his head off at the moment and I just don't know what to do. I can't sleep and I'm just so upset and exhausted. None of my friends or family know that he use to smoke so I don't even have anyone I can talk to about this.

I don't even know what I want from this post, maybe I just wanted to get it off my chest, maybe I want someone to tell me they were in the same boat and it all worked out in the end.

How much does he smoke? Does he work? Do you have DC?

He use to smoke quite a bit every afternoon night after work. He stopped for two different jobs as the had no drug policies but obviously his new work doesn't.

I'm not sure how much he is smoking now. I think he has been going to his brothers and friends to do it as well so I'm not sure.

No DC, but I do live interstate from all my family so no real support network near me.

What are you getting out of this relationship now?. Are you really confusing love with codependency here?. Hoping as well for someone to perhaps tell you this is going to come good in the end is going to do you no favours either.

His primary relationship is with weed, not you. He is not going to change and he is not going to give up this for you.

Why are you with him at all given his continued drug use?. Is this man really the best man you can be with now?. You have a choice re this man

He is a kind, caring and genuine bloke. He makes me laugh and makes me feel loved, and will always do what is best for us.

He stopped smoking for 6 months after smoking for more than 7 years. I have only known him for 2 of those, but he started smoking at like 14. Both his parents have addictive personalities, his mum smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and his dad drinks about 15 cans a day.

He is super supportive of my career choices and always wants me to go after what I want.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

How is it that you are in a relationship with a stoner in the first place?.

He is not genuine at all and your list of what makes him good are the barest of bare minimums. As for making you laugh, well a good comedian could make you as well as most people laugh. How does he make you feel loved when his primary relationship is with cannabis, that comes first here. Your relationship bar is so low here it is practically non existent. He does not take you at all seriously here because even though you profess to hating drugs you are still with him for your own reasons. So what are they?

There are many red flags re this person and you cannot rescue and or save him here try and you may. He also has an addictive personality like his parents.

He stopped smoking only because of his works no drug policies.

He is only really doing what is best for him, at best now you are merely propping him up and enabling him. He is addicted to cannabis and that is what his primary relationship is with. Its not with you.

AttilaTheMeerkat makes a lot of sense. You are worth more than this.

Explain to me the logic of being in a relationship with someone who has a history of doing something you apparently hate? The ball is and has always been, in your court. You had a boundary and now he’s overstepped it and lied about it in the process. It’s time to accept that you are in a relationship with a stoner, if you don’t want to be, the onus is on you not to be.