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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Abusive family, Can I do what I am thinking?

29 replies

thisispointless · 28/03/2019 18:11

I do not want to go into many details, but a very long story short I have a very abusive family (parents, I am an adult but the abuse just seemed to get worse the older I got)

I need to leave for my own wellbeing, it has got to the point of them threatening me now (nothing new just getting worse) if I don't leave I will end up hurting myself. They have said many times if I leave to try to start a new life somewhere else they will find me, they will get the police to track me down, I will always be looking over my shoulder etc

My question is if I "disapear" one night and move away without telling anyone will the police disclose where I am because I am an adult? Do i go and talk to the police before I leave to let them know of the situation and tell them I do not want to be found? Parents have also told me they will think nothing of getting a private investigator to find me.

I know all this sounds crazy but unless you have an abusive family like this it is hard to understand.

OP posts:
Yorkiebar71 · 29/03/2019 14:34

Good luck OP you deserve a happy life away from your family

anniehm · 29/03/2019 14:38

If you are an adult the police cannot disclose your whereabouts but you should leave a letter for your parents explaining that you have left and they should not look for you, detailing why may be a good idea to reinforce the message. Giving a copy to the local police whilst completely unnecessary may avoid your parents lying to the police claiming you are mentally unwell so vulnerable.

hellsbellsmelons · 29/03/2019 16:26

You are being abused.
Please call 101 and ask for the DV team and tell them what is happening.
Also call Womens Aid - they can help you with a safe exit plan.
I'm so sorry you are going through this.
I really hope you get out safe and sound - soon!
Good luck.

funnylittlefloozie · 29/03/2019 16:31

Are you the poster who isn't even allowed to shower on your own?

If you are classed as vulnerable, your best bet for getting away from family is to contact Social Services and report the abuse, and ask them to help you.

If you are over 18, and not vulnerable, you can just go. If they "hunt you down", which frankly seems unlikely, you can call the police to stop them harassing you.

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