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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fiance cheating on me, 5 months pregnant

8 replies

Mummytobe12345 · 28/03/2019 16:33

Please help with advice if you can. I am 5 months pregnant with my first child and this morning I found out that my fiance has been messaging prostitutes to meet with them. He denies actually meeting up with them but I have seen the messages which started this month and he has tried to arrange times for when I am working late to see them. When I caught him out he said it was due to boredom at work and he did not intend to carry anything out. He said that he only messaged one woman, however after digging I found that he has messaged 6 different prostitutes over the last month. He tried to lie about this until I sent him screen shots of the messages. I feel so numb and do not know what to do for the best. This is not the first time he has cheated, about 1.5 years ago he slept with a colleague and I forgave him. I am scared that if I leave I will have nowhere to go. I currently work full-time as a nurse but when I go back to work after maternity leave I will need to work part-time, so will have a significant pay decrease. I have very little savings and still have so much to buy for the baby. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be with him but I'm worried I will be homeless if I leave.

OP posts:
Silly1235 · 28/03/2019 16:36

im sorry to say that if he cheated on you before and is already messaging 6 other women i think you know the answer. youre better than him and youre better off without him.

JaneEyre07 · 28/03/2019 16:36

If he's been sleeping with prostitutes, you need to talk to your midwife about screening for STI's which could be harmful for you and your baby.

He's cheated on you before and he'll cheat on you again.

Don't you deserve better? Do not stay for the sake of your baby.... if anything he's shown a reckless disregard for the wellbeing of them so far.

Kko1986 · 28/03/2019 16:40

Leave him he will keep doing it as he thinks you will keep forgiving him. Get tested for the baby and your sake.

Too many people stay just because of they feel trapped your not. Get away from him before he destroys you completely x

Baconcob · 28/03/2019 16:42

He’s a serial cheater. Yes you need to leave (can he not leave?). You also need to get an STI check. He has no regard for the health of you or your baby.

Do you have any family or friends you can stay with for now? You and your baby deserve better than this cheating waste of space.

Is he not buying for the baby?

ChristinaMarlowe · 28/03/2019 16:47

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Honestly it will only get harder - just have an end to it now in as civil a way as possible. No, it won't be OK and no, there's nothing to discuss except the baby.
I was suddenly single 6 months pregnant (very different situation) and having such a wonderful distraction and motivation meant I hardly noticed he'd gone! Much healthier for you and for baby.
Plus it's not just cheating, it's trying to arrange to buy a go on another ladies body with no thought for her or for you. Vile. Please leave. You can do this. 💐

Shoxfordian · 28/03/2019 16:51

Yeah you need to leave him. Do you have family or friends you can stay with?

Everyone gets bored at work, not everyone messages prostitutes. Don't believe his shit

Baconcob · 28/03/2019 17:01

So what was his excuse last time? Boredom? Somehow your fault?

He’s not going to change. You’ve already given him one chance and he’s screwed it up. Do it again and he’ll just keep doing it. He’ll just get better at hiding it, until the next time you find out. Set your bar higher.

UserTKB4421 · 28/03/2019 17:01

I'm sorry you're in this position. You deserve so much more. It is up to you how you choose to move forward in regards to him and your relationship but regardless do be sure that you are safe, take care of yourself and your pregnancy. What do you feel you want to do? Is there somewhere that you could stay or he could stay until you gather your thoughts? Sending all the best wishes.

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