Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Does the guilt of leaving the ex ever go?

9 replies

NowWhat19 · 27/03/2019 19:33

So I left my ExP after 5 years, we have a beautiful little DD. Things in our relationship were far from perfect, he liked to have his own way on far too much never willing to compromise and would be a very absent dad to DD, opting to playing his Xbox then bonding with her.

Despite all this I still have this overwhelming sense of guilt for leaving him, like I could have done more or that I owed him something. Don’t get me wrong I know I’ve done the right thing, but does the feeling of guilt ever go?

OP posts:
VeronicaDinner · 27/03/2019 19:43

Once you see them happy in a new relationship, yes. You see that you've made the right decision for you and them.

NetterU · 27/03/2019 21:30

Yes the guilt goes, give it time.

Singlenotsingle · 27/03/2019 21:33

Yes, it was best for everyone that you end it
now, rather than condemning him and you to a life of misery. You have to be cruel to be kind.

RiversDisguise · 28/03/2019 07:11

What Veronica said. Honestly, you'll see him loved up with someone else and you won't feel guilty anymore.

MashedSpud · 28/03/2019 07:19

I never felt a drop of guilt. He wasn’t what I wanted in mine and my dc’s everyday lives. He was controlling and boring in equal measures.

Your ex chose a video games console over you and your dd. Remind yourself of that when the guilt creeps in.

Flairhead · 28/03/2019 07:21

I'm still feeling it and been separated for several months now. He's not the type of guy who would find someone else very easily so if him being in a new relationship is the thing that would make the feeling go away, I could be waiting a while.

wishywashy6 · 28/03/2019 07:38

Yep it does! Mine went about 3 minutes after I told him it was over Hmm

You're in control of your own life, as is he. Don't feel guilty for making decisions that were right for you.

Birdie6 · 28/03/2019 07:42

Yes, definitely. It doesn't take long ! I had some guilt at the time, to the point where I was very generous towards him during the divorce . Too generous when I look back ! As soon as he found another partner, and I saw him happy ( that didn't take long !) I moved on. No more guilt.

Tachy · 28/03/2019 08:06

Every time you feel guilty remember how guilty you'd feel for staying if your DD had to grow up with him. It's a clique but he's done this to himself.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread