Does this sound like a normal childhood

[daisyduck35]

Since I've had my own dc I've started to resent my upbringing and I feel I've no one to talk to. My sister acknowledged once our parents weren't normal then backtracked before making out I was the issue.
I'm not sure I'm being too harsh on them but there was an incident when my parents bought me a watch and a few days later I did something and my mum came at me with a wooden spoon. She broke the watch then made me buy another one with my birthday money so no one would find out.
My mum would separate me from my younger brother and sister who were closer in age as I used to annoy them. She still tells people this and I've very little contact with my siblings. My children annoy each other but I just let them deal with it within reason and then they're best friends again.
Another incident when I was 19 I told my mum I'd met someone and wanted to bring him over she lost it with me. To this day I struggle with telling them anything even now as an adult. My husband doesn't understand but doesn't know the full extent.
I had usual heartbreak when I was younger and I was told get over it. I struggled with money in college because they didn't allow me work when I was studying and I wasn't entitled to a grant but I was told how does everyone else manage. When I went for a particular job after leaving college my dad told me I was f*cking ridiculous as I'd never get it (I did)They always worried what other people thought of them. Every time I see them I am so anxious for days after.

No.

I think you belong on the stately homes thread.

If I wrote down some of the finer points of my 70s, working class, Glasgow upbringing, people these days would certainly have something to say!
But we were mostly loved, and mostly happy.
I guess that's how I would gauge a 'normal' upbringing.
But it doesn't sound like yours was. We were smacked etc, but I wouldn't say my parents were emotionally abusive, unlike yours.
Sorry OP I think it's natural to question these things when we become parents ourselves. I am a better mother than mine was, and my daughters will probably be an improvement on me!
For what it's worth, I also think society these days is a kinder place in general for kids to be.

I'm very glad to hear you got that job by the way .

How old are you?
Did your mother break the watch on purpose?
Keeping you away from your siblings? Did you annoy them as a child? Hurt them?
If they wouldn't let you get a job did they support you? As in you still lived in their house, they fed and clothed you and have you money for things?

Did you annoy them as a child?

What planet do children exist on that dont annoy each other sometimes (or hurt each other to some degree unintentionally or through fighting over stuff and typical conflicts)?

What does it matter if her mother broke her watch on purpose or not? She went at her with a wooden spoon. If the breakage was accidental it makes it no less bad.

And she should never have been made to replace it with her pocket money, her parents should have replaced it.

Your post worries me.

Separating siblings- normal
Saying stuff like you won't get the job- not normal
Not helping you with money (assuming that they have it!) - not normal
Not allowing you to work - not normal for me but I've read many on MN say that they want their kids to focus on academics
Smacking - common if you're 30+ years old
Breaking stuff- not normal
Making you pay for the replacement and making you keep it secret- not normal

Can I ask why you see them? Why would you want to introduce them to boyfriends?

Normal is to feel that you were adored. Loved unconditionally and that your parents lit up with joy when something good happened to you and had your back when it didn't.

Not my childhood but definitely the childhood my beautiful daughter has. I'm not happy and settled unless she is.

They sound abusive. I would cut contact. What do they add to your life?

The way they treated you was not OK. Head over to Stately Homes threads.

Well Moralitym1n1

If the OP was particularly horrible to her siblings then it may have been necessary to seperate them if it was a regular thing.

Depending on the age of the OP, it was common place for children to be smacked or worse (doesn't make it right but that was the way it was and a lot of people over a certain age will agree with that). OP also says the mother came at her with a wooden spoon, not that she was actually hit.

It makes a huge difference if the watch was broken on purpose because that would be viscous, an accident is an accident. The mother could have made the OP replace the watch because she left it lying on the floor and her mother stood on it. My DS dropped his new phone down the toilet 2 days after we bought it for £250, we made him buy a new one because it was his fault, he knew he wasn't allowed it in there. If he left it in the toilet and someone else knocked it in the toilet or the bath, I would still have made him replace it.

I guess separating siblings is normal to a point, for example doing different age appropriate activities but what you describe sounds like more than that. It sounds like a pretty grim upbringing

@Drogosnextwife the reason my watch broke was because my mother hit me with a wooden spoon cracking the glass whilst it was on my wrist. I agree snacking was normal in childhood I grew up in the 90s. I was never vile to my siblings but it was always said you play on your own you only cause trouble.

Am also glad to read that you got the job too.

Think your childhood was both abusive and dysfunctional. Do have a look at and post on the stately homes thread. I would also think that your younger siblings were and remain more favoured hence your sister,s changing viewpoint denying your own truth.

Normal is to feel that you were adored. Loved unconditionally and that your parents lit up with joy when something good happened to you and had your back when it didn't.

I’m not sure the majority of children would describe growing up like this. I would say this describes an ideal, which normal Parents fall short of at times.

It’s normal for parents to lose it occasionally, for wrong things to happen.

But when it’s regular and accompanied by a general feeling of being excluded from the warmth of the family, it’s a problem.

So I guess I’m saying ‘normal’ is not the same as ‘unproblematic’. And that it’s hard to tell if your family is dysfunctional from a handful of incidents, a pattern is more useful, and a description of the emotional life of your family.