AIBU Family relationships

[BusyBB]

My husband's brother and his partner have moved back to the area around a year ago, after having been traveling for a number of years. When ever they were back from travelling they would come and see us, having dinner at ours and staying over night, having breakfast and lunch at ours. Since they have been back in the area, they have only invited us round once for a bbq party. Never just the two the two of us, but they have continued to come round to see us, leaving us to host them.

Recently they came to dinner at ours with us and my parents. During the dinner they mentioned having a night at their house but while discussing dates, there was a night all 4 were available but my husband and I weren't. So the brothers girlfriend settled on that night and asked for my mum's phone number to confirm details... my mum actually cancelled as she thought it was weird going without us as they have only met 3 times.

Then the girlfriend text my mum again to arrange arrange a different date, which will be this Saturday. My mum agreed as she felt she was rude to cancel last time and assumed my husband and I were going as well. The invite was at the beginning of the month but we still haven't been invited, looks like we are not going to be.

I'm actually feeling really hurt about it. It feels really weird and like they prefer my parents to my husband and I. Has anyone been in a similar situation, am I silly to feel hurt?

Thanks!

Do I understand correctly? Your DH's family, who you rarely see, (brother in law and his wife) invited your mother to an evening without inviting you?

When the previously came back for visits whilst they were travelling they were probably viewing it as a holiday. Hence staying overnight and seeing you a lot. They also probably thought they wouldn’t see you again for a while. Now they’re back for good of course it’s different, they probably want to start their own lives in the area and even if you get on great, they won’t want to live in your pockets.

I don’t know that I’d be that offended by one invite extended to your mum and not to you, although it was rude for them to plan this at your house.

Can you chat to your brother? Suggest meeting up the 4 of you once a month maybe?

Or maybe you’ve said something to have offended them... who knows. From what you’ve said it doesn’t seem that way though!

Poglets, yes that's right.

Expressedways, Its my brother in law, if it was my brother, of course it would be fine to meet my mum without me! Dh's family only know mine through us which is what makes it odd not inviting us! It's like saying they prefer to spend time with them. I'm not fussed about not seeing dh family regularly, just about them inviting my family without me... and on mothers day weekend!

Apologies somehow I missed that from your OP, probably because it’s so damn strange! Why does your husband’s brother and his girlfriend want to hang out with your parents without you?! I’m all for happy families but that’s really weird. Can your husband have a word with his brother? But I stand by what I said about now they’re back for good they probably expect to see you less than when they were back for just visit as they’re making their own lives here. The thing with your parents though... just bizarre. Do you have children that your parents regularly babysit for? Just thinking that if they’re planning kids they might want a piece of the free childcare pie. Or maybe they really enjoy their company...

Good suggestion on the childcare, but none of us have kids or are likely to... Thanks!