So I'm a single mother

[mopthefloor]

What now?

DH and I split a few months ago (at my instigation) and he has all but disappeared. He's moved away and I find myself on my own with two children. Rented council house so that part's fine for now. But all of a sudden I'm a self-employed single mother of two plus I'm still paying a small amount of support to my ex! Not much but quite enough considering that I pay all expenses for our two children.

Anyway things have been going along ok until now but I've just realised that I'm really, really lonely. I'm also quite trapped with these two lovely children to look after outside school hours. They're still too young to be left at home alone so I'm doing a lot of working from home after school. Extremely isolating. What on earth do I do? It's nowhere near the top of my list of priorities but I find myself wondering whether I'll ever have another relationship? Will I ever even have sex again? How will I pay for all the things the kids need as they get older? How will I keep the house maintained? And find some time to exercise? Something has to give, is it going to be my self-care? What on earth happens now?

Hi lovely. Make time for you and what you want to do. If not a gym then a netball or badminton club where you meet, talk and play with people once a week. There will be some social events linked to that too.

I do that and also socialise a lot with my kids and friends. I have split custody and my eldest two can babysit so it's not an issue but when it was tricky to find babysitters I invited friends and their kids round or went to theirs or we all went to the local pub a few evenings a month.

About 9 months post split I started online dating. First it was just chatting, then I met up with a few guys who were nice enough but I'd didn't want to pursue. Then I met a wonderful man who I adore and even though we only see each other a few times a month, we chat and message every day and it's great. But pre meeting him, I also had a great time with my kids and friends.

I also moved into my new house and decorated it exactly how I wanted and I just love being in my home.

As its hard for childcare, start doing activities with your kids. There's holidays/weekend breaks for single parents and their children - a great way to escape and meet new people. Look up single with kids, they have fab breaks that are pretty reasonable