I just don't want to do it anymore!

[WinterWillow]

My husband and I have been together for 7 years and have two LO's. 5 and 3. We used to have a very active sex life, however for the last 3+years I just don't want to do it.

It's gotten to the point where we only make love once a month, if that, and I never initiate it as I just don't want to. It's not that I don't love my husband I just can't seem to relax or find any desire.

Our youngest is still fairly unsettled in the nights and I'm constantly waiting for her to wake up. It sounds silly but our dog also sleeps in the bedroom and I find it disturbs him and he ends up walking around on the wooden floor which just makes me not want to do it more!!

I desperately want my husband to feel loved, I just cant bring myself to be intimate any more than I have to.

Sounds exactly like me! I used to feel always horny pre-children. Now, I'm just too exhausted and have absolutely zero desire. I do it just to make my wonderful, caring, loving, attentive, gorgeous husband happy. I still love him dearly and find him attractive. I just don't feel like making love. I think it is a lot to do with hormones (which we are all driven by). Your hormones would make you feel horny so you would get pregnant. Now the job is done (you have kids, and don't want more), your body is not producing those hormones to get you in the mood.

Do you enjoy sex when you do try or is it all just a bit of a chore? Maybe look as it being something for you to 'enjoy' not just something for your hubby to feel loved. Try finding out the things u like and incorporate them in? If you change the emphasis from him to you, even just psychologically , that may help you figure a way?

I can't say I enjoy it in all honesty. Again this is nothing to do with my husband, he is very understanding and I know he has needs but it is a 'chore' to me.

I don't even want to kiss him, which sounds awful, and I genuinely don't know why. I just don't feel any desire to be intimate with him, or anyone else for that matter.

Have you tried experimenting by yourself, to try and put it nicely. Perhaps if you discover what floats your own boat, you will be able to bring that in with him?

I feel for you, I really do. Kids killed my sex drive but it did come back. Talk to your DH, try and get some romance back and put the dog in a nice cosy basket in the kitchen. 💐

I think you need to find out if this is just a case of your sex drive has lowered/disappeared or you that you specifically don't desire your DH.

A DC not sleeping through the night, will always be a passion killer. I completely understand this. You're probably on edge all the time and I suspect are going to choose catching up on sleep, over sex.