He lied about his age!!

[WiseTeddy]

What do you think of this...?

I recently met a man on OLD, we had arranged to meet this Friday, however as he was travelling today, he changed it to yesterday. We spoke on the phone twice, the first time, I thought he sounded older than the age on his profile (57). I emailed him my pictures, he sent one and I thought he looked older than 57, but then again some people are not photogenic. (I am 47)

Somehow, I fell that there was something not so right and did not want to meet; as he was travelling to my town, I thought why not. The bar where we had arranged to meet was very quiet except for a party that was going on, so I spotted him straight away.

He was so old, no way 57 and I don't usually ask, but I asked him how old he was as he certainly did not look 57, he told me that he was 67, again he was lying. He had to be at least 87! He wanted to touch me, I told him not to touch me, he wanted to hold my hands like we have been in a relationship forever, again, I told him not to do that.

It was so embarrassing, I did not finish the glass of wine and told him that I had to go to meet a friend. I have blocked and deleted him.
Why would a person lie about their age?

Bloody hell, he sounds really creepy, I have sometimes added a year or two to my age when I was really young (but legal!), but 20 odd years is crazy, even without the pervy behaviour.

He maybe had previous dates head in the bag, lucky escape OP....

@Stormy, yes at least 87. @Mia, @Sam, I felt so embarrassed as I was dressed up and the staff could see that I was on some kind of date. Then the man kept touching me and holding my hands....

OP if you ever find yourself in a situation like that again where someone lied to such a massive extent. Just turn around and leave there and then. You owe them nothing if they have been so deceitful.

Agree with @Grumpelstilskin I wish I had done that on a few of my dreadful dates, I had it all men who lied about height or the fact they are actually married. My best worst one was the guy who used a photo of his brother instead of himself, and the guy who was steaming drunk and had vomit on his shirt ..

What about the men who stand there, look you in the eye and assure you that they're a foot taller than you.

I was on a couple of OLD sites briefly a couple of years before meeting DH through friends. As I was fairly young, based in London and had nice photos, I got loads of messages, so tried to narrow down to best matches. I set the upper age limit to about 12 years older than me. Still shocking how many entitled, sleazy men in their late fifties and older contacted me. Many of those were more than likely even older than their age. Initially, I was polite, typical people pleaser and being young trying to be nice, so I sent some friendly no thank yous. Some were not gracious at all, one told me that he was young for his age and that I was being ageist blablabla. Ironically, his own upper age limit for potential partners was 20 years younger than him! The arrogance among much older men (older than my own dad at the time!) and their expectations is ridiculous. I told him that he was an ageist creep and I’d rather sit on my finger than ever going out with a shitgibbon like him. Rather than get dolled up and get over-invested in the first date, I actually arranged for first meetings in free museums I liked, especially the V&A who have late night opening days. That way, if the person isn’t nice, or we don’t click, you can still have a nice wander around by yourself and not completely wasted your time. I’d get them meet in a specific spot, so I could check them out due to so many guys using fake or ancient photos. And I did turn around and leave a few standing who looked nothing at all like their photo and who clearly either used someone else’s photograph, or used at least 20 plus year-old pictures. If someone is that duplicitous from the onset, I owe them zero consideration.

Years ago I had an age fibber. I was young: I think about 28. He said he was 38, which was what I thought would be the upper limit of acceptable.

We met, he seemed much older. Not looks so much as attitude.

After when he asked for feedback I said "I think maybe I was wrong in thinking a 10 year age gap was ok for me. We seem to be quite different and our lives are in different places"

I noticed later he altered his age on his profile to read 45.

Not that big of a difference I guess but still I noticed. And then of course I added "liar" to my mental assessment as well as "boring middle aged man".

I'm sorry you felt you had to hold his hand, OP. Life changed considerably for the better when I learned how to say "No" more often.

omg! so what are your plans now

Thank you @Grumpel and @Air for sharing your story. @Afist, I did not want to hold his hands. @Not, he has totally put me off meeting another man from OLD.

I do not think I would like to meet anyone from OLD again - all my experiences have been pretty bad; one guy told me that he was 5'5, when he turned up, he was shorter than me (I am 5'4), he must have been 5' and another man so obese.

I find that honesty is the best policy and saves time and energy.

I wonder if anyone has ever met someone on OLD who turned out to be 20 years older/6 inches shorter/10 stone heavier (or whatever) than they stated in their profile and actually ended up in a relationship with them, regardless?

Surely this would be a deal breaker from the start for most people? The barefaced lying for one thing. A couple of years/inches/stones maybe, but something so extreme? It's an utter waste of everyone's time. Most people would walk straight out, or as in your case OP, give them half an hour just to be polite. (Too long!)

Somehow, I fell that there was something not so right and did not want to meet; as he was travelling to my town, I thought why not

Trust yourself next time. You did not even want to meet.

Also you are not obligated to remain in any situation. In particular if someone presents so instantly as a massive liar, turn on your heel and leave immediately. You can leave any situation for any reason at any time, and you owe nobody a reason or explanation, least of all a lecherous liar.

The last man I met on OLD had a broken leg but didn’t tell me until I was on my way. We spent the whole date in his car . Well I sat in the passenger seat and made polite conversation until I could escape.

When he sent me a message after to say he would like to see me again, I said, let me know when you can walk, he replied lol and I never heard from him again.

What a waste of time! It does put you off.

@Nowordsleft

Sorry but 😂

OP you dealt with it well and I hope you are not put off OLD. I was on it for a few years, now with a partner for 10 months. Along the way I had some brilliantly awful dates, which I can laugh about now. More importantly I met some nice people along the way, had different experiences and met someone who I really match well with and love.

I started every date with the idea I was meeting a person just for coffee to check initial compatibility. I didn't ever refer to a drinks meet-up as a date. I had a two hour time frame suddenly extendable if I was interested.

Best worst dates:
Man older and obese with wig, 15 year than photos, just had stomach stapling and complained abput procedure in detail.

Man who told me his ex ran off with his kids and had been allowed to change their surname, but he was definitely normal he did not come across as normal

Man with conjunctivitis gloop over his face wanting a kiss. Telling me he was a good sugar daddy.

I think expect the worst, hope for the best, keep it brief - have an exit strategy message on phone has to be read away from table...oh dear need to leave. I tried being honest to a few in person, but found I was asked why several times and easier to quickly leave.

@Nowordsleft 😂😂

I must be very thick but when I saw you'd written that you'd met someone through OLD, I'm sitting here thinking that that's the name of the dating site, and why were you so surprised that he was....well...old!

About a dozen posts later the light dawned!