Think I'm ready to leave dp

[kiki22]

We have been together for 8 years and have 2 kids. We are generally happy but dp has this pessimistic chip on his shoulder attitude that just drags me down I feel like I spend my whole life trying to make him see how lucky we are and trying to make life good for him.

This last week or so we went for a 3 day break to London together had a lovely time but as soon we got back he started complaining about having to go to work. Then 2 days after that I was hit with d&v totally floored for 2 days he basically told me he was busy working (doing a home for a friend not his actually job) so I would need to get on with it looking after 2 kids and keeping the house going. He at one point took the kids out and done thr dishes so I could sleep then told me I should be grateful (I'd had the kids all day alone). He's now huffing about the house being a mess and having so much to do. when he is ill he stays in bed for 2 or 3 day until he's better and I do everything else. It made me feel like I can't count on him.

Today I phoned him and he said he may be late in so can't go to his hobby tonight because he needs to finish his friends job. I said you might be lucky and get it done quick he responded with when am I ever lucky apart from a Saturday night when the kids are away I'm not sure if he means for the peace or sex. It just made my heart sink I was about to do what I usually do and ask what I can do to facilitate it but I just couldn't anymore. we have 2 happy healthy kids, a nice house (only 2 bed but its lovely and big) a car each never need to worry about where the next meal is coming from I think we are very fortunate.

It feels like no matter how much we have he's never happy, he thinks he's very hard done by and no one appreciates him when in reality I spend all my time telling him he's great to keep his mood up. I think its partly depression partly attitude. I'm so tired and feel like I can't keep making everything perfect for him when he just complains anyway. He complains constantly that we don't have sex enough too which really bothers me as we have sex about once a week but honestly his attitude just turns me off.

He won't leave the house so I will need to leave but the thought of going through what will be fights and struggling plus telling the kids makes me think maybe I will just put up with it.

Your partner sounds very much like me I am sorry and embarrassed to say. I was with my ex missus for 13 years and whilst I thought it was a good thing to try to better ourselves , she was happy with the way things were. So in the end she just kept agreeing with me for the sake of it. Until one day she had enough.

It was too late. I had wore her down to the point of no return.

I didnt listen. I dont know if I was ever ready to listen. Maybe if my ex had spoken about it in a different way or threaten with leaving me to have a chance to redeem myself then maybe things would have been different. Instead she just said it was over and that was my wake up call. But it was too late.

Thats my experience.

lonelyguy thanks for the reply

He doesn't even try to better things that's all left to me in the last 3 years I've arranged a move to a better area managed to buy us a car each increased my salary to make things better financially and it's still not enough he doesn't want to actually do the work to get things better.

I've spoke to him threatened pleaded but nothing changes he says he's fine lifes just long and hard and of story.

kiki22 sounds like he needs a bigger wake up call.

In my situation, if that had happened, I would definately have seen the light sooner.

It seems tho that relationships these days dont seem to last long like the old days. We expect and want too much. I hate social media while my ex embraced it.

His life doesn't sound hard one damn bit-you do everything for him! He's a selfish bastard judging how he mistreated you when you were so ill! I'd walk away from such a miserable son of a bitch

EKGEMS I'm getting my ducks in a row I've had enough.