I am posting to hopefully give hope and positive vibes to people. 3 and a half years ago this forum was very supportive. My DP of nearly 30 yrs ran off with 21 yr old divorcing barmaid. Of course it didn’t last.... She is now married to some else closer her own age, with kids in tow. He is only now rebuilding relationship with our children.
We have now moved, and I have a “restoration project”. Offspring finding feet in world and, despite setbacks, ie. education, etc, they are moving forward positively. It cannot be underestimated the “——“ dealt, the initial failure for all of us to deal with it, etc. But now, we are in a good place, emotionally, psychologically, etc.
We have had our problems. My son had to give up on A-Levels. I have been to counselling, been on antidepressants. But we have survived.
You cannot make informed decisions when recovering from grief, that is what it was, the death of my previous self. My current self is stronger than I ever was then.
Don’t give yourselves timeframes to recover, it doesn’t happen. Give yourselves goals, but not timescales. It has taken this long for me to feel positively about the future. I’m not saying everyone takes this amount of time, but recovery is not immediate.
Friends are extremely important, feeling valued, and being included, even if you are poor company.
If you are recently on your own after a long relationship, give yourself time to recover. It be OK.