I looked at his phone

[Summerontheway]

I have name changed for this. I'm not sure what to do. I looked at my husband's phone tonight and I'm not sure why I did it to be honest, just had a weird niggling feeling so I had a look. Nothing to find in messages or call history etc but I was looking at his WhatsApp contacts and a really weird thing struck me, our kids holiday club and school were in the available WhatsApp contacts. I thought it was really odd as I didn't know either of them had mobile numbers so checked against my phone and low and behold they do NOT have mobile numbers only landlines. I checked in his proper contacts and he's got the landline as the main number and these 2 mobiles as a secondary number. I checked his work phone too and again no message/call history with either number on there but he has the school one in there too.

As not to drip feed, he had a day off on Friday and went to London alone (i was working). Was there all day and I had no reason to be suspicious as things are good between us and he never gets a day off so when he does I wouldn't think it odd for him to go somewhere for the day. Anyway I thought his top he'd worn smelt much stronger of aftershave than normal. I'm now wondering if he met up with someone. I looked at his pictures too and on his work phone there was a picture he'd taken of himself in a Snapchat type style but he never sent it to me. That was on his day off too. He doesn't use snap chat (ive checked) and if he was taking it for me he wouldn't have used the work phone.
I feel sick and confused. We've been married for 12 years and have 2 young kids. I thought everything was good and now I don't know what to do.

Thank you all for your replies. I rang the number that was in both phones this morning and it went to voicemail but it said you've teacher the number of a woman's name. So I've got a first name and a mobile number now. Got a friend to search Facebook for number but nothing came up.

I had a weird feeling I guess because he arranged my bday surprise a couple of months ago and he had been arranging it with my friends which was completely fine, nothing to worry about there, but my friend is arranging a spa day for us and she mentioned when I saw her that he had text her recently with the name of a spa I like. Again I don't think that is suspicious but it made me want to look at his phone as he never told me about that

*reached not teacher

Would you consider hiring an investigator? He/she could probably find the woman quickly with her name and number.

It would likely give you peace of mind.

Google the first name and the number, that can sometimes bring something up.

We’re both numbers for the same ‘name’? Maybe a work and personal phone number for the same person?

I had almost exactly the same thing happen, the number was stored under a mans name.

Could the photo have been to use on a dating site? Might be worth a look at some of the main ones.
Try not to jump to conclusions just yet. I'm all for trusting your gut but if you've been hurt before you're bound to be suspicious.

Could the numbers be someone at the kids club? So a contact there?
This sounds far more plausible. Just because it's not on the website doesn't mean a thing. People there will have mobiles but won't necessarily put the numbers on the website or people will ring those all the time (day and night) instead of the landline.

When my DCs were in holiday clubs we were often given a mobile number of the main carer on the day in the summer months, in case they were outside.

What I DO find a bit odd though is that he took himself off to London on his day off. It's just a strange thing for a man to do (as opposed to a woman who would go shopping). Unless you live on the outskirts and often pop in to the centre.

I would copy the numbers just in case though!

My ex did this would store numbers under seemingly innocuous things for work, like customer services or male colleagues names. I had no reason to be suspicious and we regularly used each other phones to make a call so I never thought anything of it until I was suspicious when he had a message on his day off from customer services. (Would have been a landline not a mobile and he wouldn't have had a reason to be contacted while at home) I did the same had a snoop and while there was no phone or message logs for this number ( he deleted everything!)WhatsApp showed me pictures of women as the profile picture. After a bit more snooping I found numerous email accounts, dating site profiles and other things. He still to this day claims he never met anyone was just bored in work so was chatting to people up until the point they wanted to meet then he would block them and move on to someone else. I couldn't trust him after that!

Ring them and find out

Save and copy the photo image and do a reverse image search - could have same profile pic used elsewhere (eg on a dating site!) I#'m assuming you would also be able to find otu if the contact number was a genuine contact for one of the kids club people??

You’ve got the woman’s first name so ring the kids club (the number you have for them) and ask if anyone works for them by that name.

Add the numbers to your Whatsapp. Check when he is on Whatsapp - hopefully, you will be able to see the last time he was online and see when these numbers were last online. Then you will have an idea of when they are contacting each other, if at all.

Surely you can find her on Google OP? Try variations of the spelling, type the name into Google and add 'LinkedIn' - you may find her professional info and be able to.ascertson if she's a colleague.

Have you saved the numbers as an actual contact into your phone? If not do this and reopen WhatsApp, start a 'new chat' with this number and you should see her profile picture.

You don't have an awful lot of evidence to suggest DH has done a great deal tbh but it is s bit weird and you may as well find out if it's simple to do.

What is the problem with your DH suggesting a spa for a spa day she is planning for you, if he knows of one you like? He may well be doing something dodgy OP but do remember that you don't have the right to spy on him or see his phone just because you don't like that he did something small (the spa) and didn't tell you about it. Surely you don't have to appraise him of exactly every chat with another person you have. You may have felt like you wanted to check his phone, that doesn't mean you should have or are entitled to. Better of contemplating whether the relationship stands up to scrutiny if you've ended up sneaking around catching him out based on a few things and can't easily just .honestly discuss it with him.

By all means proceed if you really think he's dodgy but I think you also need to confront some insecurities of your own here, and contemplate acceptable boundaries. Is this what you want from a relationship? Cheating or no cheating you don't trust him and the policing of who he talks to is a slippery slope that people would be very against on here if you were Male and that example were reversed.