Your attitude towards dating and relationships

[SausageSimon]

I've been single for 4+ years now and I'd really love to meet someone. I've enjoyed being single but I'm ready for a relationship.

I find that people give me completely conflicting advice! For a long time I've believed that you shouldn't look for it and that it'll come along naturally when you least expect it.

But then on the other hand, I get told "they won't come knocking on your door you know"

I find online dating depressing but rarely get chance to go out!

I feel very envious of the people I know who met their partner through work or school etc

People meet when they are looking and when they aren't. I don't know why people think it's one way or the other.

Lots of people meet partners when online dating, for example. Others meet people out of the blue.

If you want to meet someone , by all means be proactive.

I think online dating is totally normal now - yes, there will be lots of let downs, but it's not at all taboo or a last resort (and hasn't been for years), so I'd go for it.

I did when it was still considered a bit 'off' and tbh I didn't get any success in the long run, but did meet someone IRL as it happened. It's no impediment to meeting someone offline as well, so I'd definitely recommend people do it. I know a lot of people who have met their life partner online in the last two decades.

I feel similar to you. I’m not desperate to meet someone but it would be nice. My work is predominately female orientated so no chance there and if I rarely go out it’s with friends who I don’t see very often so that last thing I’m thinking about is pulling! Plus, how do you know whether someone is single?!
I have been on line dating on and off for the last 9 months and have met a few men but nothing lasting any more than a few weeks. I refuse to let meeting someone take over my life though!

I met my DH on line. The one before him I met at work. The one before that I met in a pub. Ignore everyone's advice and go with whichever method makes you feel most comfortable.

I met partners at school, university, conferences and work. Obviously I was busy going about my own business and they just happened to be there and we ended up dating. I would say live your life to the full, do as many things as possible. Because if I’m honest the women who I have known who have been obsessed with finding a relationship become so focussed on just that they forget to actually enjoy themselves. What sort of age are you and are you after casual or long term up to and inc dc and marriage?

Advice usually goes as follows:

1. Online dating. Did it for two years, assorted sites, no more than 5 first dates and 1 second date.

2. Join clubs. Already in some, joined a few more. Very few single women in my age range ever turn/turned up and none I found attractive (and they probably felt same about me)

3. Don't look; they turn up when you're not looking. Well, haven't been online dating or actively looking for a few years, and they haven't shown up yet.

Single 9 years, haven't had a date in 7.

So, I've come to the conclusion that it depends on two factors

1. Where you live - the larger the town/city, the more options
2. LUCK.