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Dating, is this doomed?

10 replies

user57424 · 24/03/2019 20:55

Probably clutching at straws here but has anyone been in this situation?

I met someone a month ago, we four times, all at his instigation. shortly after he was taking exams (he's late thirties but it is part of a management course he is doing). he called me most nights, long chats.

it has been 3 weeks now so i text asking if he did actually want to meet and offering to go over to his one eve if he is busy and doesn't want to drive etc. he read the message this morning and hasn't replied. i know his last exam in next Friday and he has one each day next week so he's going to be busy. but why no reply? it seems strange after his instigation of calls etc.

before any conclusions are jumped to, he's definitely single as the fourth date i went back to his to (just) watch a film. i did a bit of poking around the bathroom to be sure!!!

i cant see that ive done anything wrong by asking if he does see us meeting soon, but maybe i have? im new to dating and haven't been interested in anyone else ive met so not sure how to read it. i know the bottom line is if he cared he would reply. but have i done something wrong?! im thinking maybe he is thinking i should know we would meet after his exams and ive made too much of it by suggesting going over?

probably need to just ignore it and move on but after so many nice calls and lovely dates im quite confused.

OP posts:
user57424 · 24/03/2019 20:55

that should say "we met four times"

OP posts:
adayatthebeach · 24/03/2019 20:58

Maybe he’s waiting to make a decision what to say? I don’t always reply immediately. I don’t think it’s wrong or rude.

user57424 · 24/03/2019 20:59

yeah maybe but i sent it this morning and i know hes been on his phone most of the day. i don't want to text again though obviously.

OP posts:
susan82 · 24/03/2019 21:01

Hello,
You haven't done anything wrong. Just leave him to it, as you said, he's busy. It's most likely to be that he's read your message and become preoccupied with his exams. Men can be strange creatures, i have experience of this myself and the confusion and not knowing is awful. I'd give him his space and let him get his exams out of the way. Hopefully then he will be in touch!

user57424 · 24/03/2019 21:03

i did lay on quite thick that i was happy to drive over...now wondering if that was a bad move! although i wouldn't want to have to tip toe around someone, if he likes me he does.

i sort of wish hed just say actually i don't have time to date etc. i feel a bit left in limbo and confused after how he's been before. even if he's lost interest he could just say hes not got the time.

OP posts:
user57424 · 24/03/2019 21:07

to add a childish comment to this - he's been all over my social media all day, so i know he is online. i just don't get it.

OP posts:
Equalityumber · 24/03/2019 22:08

If he has time to go on your social media then he has time to respond to your message. You did nothing wrong, he’s just not worth your time.

user57424 · 24/03/2019 22:26

yep. just don't get it!!

OP posts:
SconesandTea · 24/03/2019 23:30

I'd step back - he sounds flaky. I also think it may be healthy for you to turn off those what's app ticks, don't follow a new beau on social media. I don't think you did anything wrong saying happy to drive over.

MyKingdomForBrie · 24/03/2019 23:32

'All over' your social media - in what sense? Commenting/liking your things? Or just posting about his own stuff?

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