Hi Lily
I can understand what you're going through a bit - my dh had a heart attack 4 days before my ds was due, although at least he wasn't on the other side of the country.
At the end of the day, you know your husband best but having been through it, it was definitely good for both of us that I was able to visit him in hospital. As I was admitted later that night to a different hospital for pre-eclampsia, I was so glad that I had seen him and was so worried that something would happen to him while I couldn't see him.
however, one of the things that having a HA will do to you is make you incredibly tired - not to mention depressed and emotional. So it might be a good idea to visit him first without the children as it may well be that he'll see you and then need to sleep after 10 mins or so. then wake up 30 mins later and chat for another 5 mins etc. It will also give you a chance to see your husband and deal with all your emotions before your kids see him.
There is definitely a male 'I can cope on my own' attitude that seems to kick in, in these circumstances, combined with the emotions and depression, as well as an embarrassment that it has happened to them. Which may well be why it seems like your husband is pushing you away. however, he may also be thinking that he is telling you these things because that is what he (as a man) is expected to do and is hoping or expecting you to visit him - or maybe he knows that he is not physically up to seeing his kids but doesn't know how to explain this without it sounding bad and so says for you not to come.
From a purely practical point of view - I know this might come across as horribly morbid - but have you both got your wills up to date? Heaven forbid anything bad should happen but if he should die intestate then you are going to be in a much worse position and have a whole load more stress than if he does have a will. It doesn't have to be big or complicated - just something to say that he is leaving everything to you and that it is properly signed and witnessed etc. It can be changed by a deed of variation later but this can't be done if the will never exists.
Same vein - does he have any sort of critical illness cover? These often have to be claimed within a month or so of the person first falling ill - which is exactly at the worst possible time that you don't want to be sorting these things out. but the stress that you and he would both have on discovering that you have missed out on the payments would be huge. believe me .
However - the good thing is that your dh is in the right place and the fact that he is there and that there is no permanent damage could well mean that he has an excellent prognosis. More than 2 years down the line from my dh's ha, he is to all intents and purposes, fit and healthy. As T42&24T says, it can be a blessing in disguise - a wake up call to a healthier lifestyle and a long life beyond. In some ways, you could say he will end up being better than someone who hadn't had the HA as he will know the condition of his heart, he will know that it has been sorted, he will know he has to take care of it and he will be on the right drugs and monitored by GPs etc.
And you will also discover that it is not that uncommon a thing - it is amazing the number of other people that I have spoken to that have had a friend or relative or themselves have a HA at an early age - most of whom are now enjoying life to the full - and really making sure that every moment does count.
Finally, don't underestimate the time that your husband will need to rehabilitate physically, mentally and emotionally - it is a long hard slog for all of you, but especially him of course. And don't underestimate the effect it will have on you - it can knock you for six too. So make sure you get some back up in there for you too.
Hope I haven't gone on too long. Reading your post brought back memories. I knew one person who had been through it previously with her husband and it was a was a help to talk to her, I think I have said most of the things that she said to me when I first spoke to her and found useful. But if there are any more questions that you have just shout.
thinking of you and your husband - hope that he has a swift recovery.