Feeling fat and fed up

[FeatherButton86]

My partner has always had a 'way' with words. Tact is not his strong suit.
Sometimes it's endearing sometimes he can be quite hurtful.

I'm 16 weeks pregnant, not planned. My hope was to lose a bit of weight before pregnancy but clearly it's too late for that now.

My partner frequently expresses an issue with my weight. Mainly that he feels because I'm a tad overweight i do not look after myself.
My view... He should love me no matter what my size and I feel it shallow of him that my size be a problem for him. Especially since I was bigger when we first got together.

Today he probably made me feel the lowest I can feel. Aparantly he now feels due to my weight I bring nothing to our relationship.
He earns far more than me so clearly contributes more financially. However I do all the cooking, cleaning and help him to raise his two daughters.

AIBU? I don't feel during pregnancy this is something I can resolve.

Just leave he’s horrible

Ignoring him because I'm sorry I don't have any advice for that 🙈 you can eat really healthy in pregnancy, be more active likes walking, aqua aerobics, swimming etc & be really healthy & not put on lots of weight. Not because of him but because of being healthy.

He shouldn't think its okay to speak to you like this.. pregnant or not and its sad to think you feel like you need to do anything about it. Contribution has nothing to do with your weight!
He likes pie.. yeah the pie you are cooking for his dinner. He does realise this alone is contribution right. Sorry but what an arse! Your confidence takes a knock in general whilst pregnant and he should be doing all he can to build you up, not knock you down.
Emotional abuse is a thing. I would seriously look at your relationship and decide if this is how you want to be treated. Sorry you've been made to feel this way OP

@Langrish
I meant currently as in currently. If she stays which undoubtedly she will. Most kind nice people try and always see the best till
It gets so bad.

That was a nasty thing for him to say. Very hurtful. It's not you, op, it's defiantly him.

I've been with DH for 34 years and my size has fluctuated, not once - ever, has he said anything about it, even when I've been really big. I can tell you we wouldn't have made 34 years if he had. No way.

You deserve better op. What's he bringing to the relationship? Misery for you!

💐💐💐

He's an abusive twat.
He knows it hurts your feelings and that is why he does it.

Next time he tries to comment on your weight, ignore it. Don't bother to respond at all. If he keeps it up just say something like, "well bless your heart" and keep doing what you are doing.

He's still an abusive twat but it will take the wind out of his sails when you don't respond to his nasty comments.

You are pregnant, what are you meant to do with your weight NOW? He is an abusive twat.

Walk away from this cunt. It will get worse. Save yourself and your unborn child years of misery. Do it now while it's easier.

So you are OK for a shag but when it comes to putting in effort and treating you like a human being decently, he is either lazy or doesn't actually care.

You sound very flat in your response OP. Is this yet another in a long line of abuses? Time to get angry.

Why do you do all the cooking and cleaning when you both work? It should be 50/50 if you both work. There’s no way I’d accept less.

You poor thing. I’d leave if someone thought about me that way, let alone spoke to me like that. You’re worth so much more and you only get this one life.

My ex husband was like this. I never really saw it till he started doing the same to our daughter.

His comments could be about anything he knows you are vulnerable about. I used to think if i lost weight it would get better. It didnt. He just focused on something else.

Hes just a spiteful person and once your child hits a certain age he will do the same with them. Dont be like me and waste 20 years with someone who from the very beginning thought they were better. I was playing catch up trying to be equal in the relationship. The problem was it was never going to happen and he enjoyed watching me tie myself in knots trying to do so.

You and your child deserve much better