Beard

[mumtoateenger75]

My husband has grown a beard
He has never had a beard since the day I met him 6 years ago
I really dislike it and struggle kissing him etc as I don't like it
I have expressed my view but he says he likes it and everyone compliments him on how it suits him
What can I do

His body his choice.

Does he get to dictate how you have your hair cut?

You cant do anything.

You can choose not to kiss him etc.

But theres nothing you can do about the beard.

Does he tell you how to have your hair? If he does and you go along with it, you could use that, perhaps?

Whilst I know people should be able to do what they want with their appearance I have no issues in telling Dh that the the prickly ferret stuck to his chin must go before any form of sexual contact will happen. This always gets him to shave.

Beards are in

Changing your hair is a bit different to growing a beard my hair being long or short doesn't affect kissing or foreplay

Does he insist you wax/shave you body and pubic hair?

Don’t kiss him then.

I would be furious if my DH commented on my appearance.

Most of MN is anti-beard so I'll expect you'll get some support along soon. I personally think it depends on the man. Dp grew a beard a few years ago and I think he looks great.

His body his choice. If you don't find it attractive then tell him, but be prepared to recieve some feedback yourself.

My DH did this; it was awful. I was always honest if he asked me or commented on his beard I’d say I wasn’t a fan including when others asked me. I never asked him to shave it but i couldn’t pretend I liked it.
If I stopped shaving I would expect him to not be a fan but equally not tell me that I had to and the same if I changed my hair.
After a few months he shaved it off thank god,

Sorry missed the bit where you have told him.

Either learn to live with it or prepare to hqve an argument from a difficult to win position.

His body hair, his choice on how he chooses to manage it.

How long is his beard? DP grew one which I was fine with at first but he's growing it longer and longer but not styling it. He's starting to look like a scruff now. Totally understand people's point about looking the way you want, but I wouldn't go out with unbrushed hair in a mess.

I've told my partner if he ever wants to split up, all he needs to do is grow a beard. No words would be needed! I'm not even joking!

If you don't want to kiss or have sex with him because it's such a turn off, then don't. He'll get the message soon enough. Everyone else compliments him and says it suits him, but it's your opinion which should count over theirs. He's not kissing them!

I hate beards. (I do know lots of women love them) I wouldn't stop my OH from growing one, but I would let him know I wouldn't be kissing him while he had it, and that it was a turn off.

Urgh, I hate beards though I seem to be in a minority these days. They sometimes look nice, but sexiest stubble length appears to be the most face-scratching. I don't think I'd go there even for Keanu Reeves. Thankfully my partner explored facial hair some years before we met and has no desire to go back there. I hope our relationship never breaks down

Sorry, no advice, but you're not alone, it'd be close to a deal breaker for me

Just as a side note, beards feel amazing in certain places.... if ya know what I’m sayin’! ;)

I know people say "his/her body his/her choice" but I think if a person deliberately change the way they look/their body this far into a relationship knowing your partner doesn't like it / find you attractive/ may have negative impact on sex life , then they've got to expect some kick back. Beards can be an issue because they do impact.on kissing So for those that don't like them, this could really impact on intimacy, as opposed to just sex. A friend whose DP grew a beard told me she would still have sex but couldn't kiss her DP as she hated the feeling and so it really affected her and he shaved it off so that the kissing could come back into their relationship.

I do get the argument though about Hair on women. My STBXH loved long hair and didn't want me to get mine cut. I wanted it cut for more practical reasons ie so it took less time to do once we had DC.

But then again, if I has a DP who 6 years in got a facial tattoo, then he would be my ex DP.

So I'm on the fence I guess!

On a side note - he clearly values the opinion of others over yours at this time. Is he trying to be a bit of a hipster?? That would annoy me as I hate people doing things just because they are the in thing. Says more about their personality really - following the crowd would be a complete turn off for me.

he clearly values the opinion of others over yours at this time

I don't think that's necessarily true.

He likes it. Other people are backing up that opinion. That doesnt mean he cares more about what they think. It could means he cares about his opinion.

God, I thought this was going to be about Amal Clooney.

What, George has grown a beard?

Yes his beard his choice, but your mouth your choice. You don’t have to kiss him, and if you choose not to as it is physically unpleasant for you, he may reconsider. Or he may not.

A haircut is a ridiculous analogy. She is talking about the physical sensation of kissing him with a beard vs without a beard.

DH has had a beard since way before we met, over 30 years. I hardly notice it any more.

Yes it is his body and his choice. It is also the OPs body and if she doesn't like how it feels against her skin/lips then she is perfectly within her rights to say that she doesn't like it.

It's up to him whether or not he gets rid of it of course.

This isn't about appearance for the OP is it?

I love kissing a man with beard...I love stroking it...😍

I agree, it’s his body and his choice, but it’s also your right to say you don’t like kissing/sex when he has a beard.