Help me to make sense of this

[Monzeitia]

Hello and thank you in advance for your help; I have been with my partner for 5 years; moved to his area so he could have access to his son and left a good life behind; the first year was lovely but on Christmas Eve on 2015 I discover by change that he was texting this woman who he meet in a course with very flirty and inappropriate messages; he promised me to stop and even I went through a very difficult months I managed to move on even if I never truly trusted him again; last year I discover that he has been on and off putting ads in the old Craigslist encounters and chatting with women in kik; as you can imagine I was totally destroyed; there have been very difficult months; this month I just decided that I could not take anymore and wanted to leave; my partner is in a state; he swears that he never cheated on me; that he realised that he has an addiction to the buzz and he will seek for help; he is willing to do anything to save the relation; just so you know I’m on my 40’s and we don’t have children together; I’m also scare to start again; I don’t have much money and I know I’m going to struggle every month to pay rent; bills; etc...I’m not sure what I should do

I wouldn't want to waste any more years on a guy like this. It's a habit and a pattern and will very likely happen again. Can you not move back to where you had a good life and pick up where you left off, a bit?

Life's too short to be miserable and policing a partner's behaviour is really bad for your MH.

Hello category; thank you for your message; I had to hear it from someone else to make me realize that no matter what he promises me sooner or later he will do it again; moving back will be even more difficult due to work and expensive life in there; I will need to get the courage to do it somewhere here and perhaps struggle for few years until things gets better

Bet he promised he'd never do it again when you caught him first time! And he did it again..... a lot!! What makes you think it means more this time round?

Seize this opportunity to free yourself from a man who would risk breaking your heart for an attention buzz. It could be your chance to do something extraordinary: travel, work abroad; retrain. I did all three after having my heart shattered at 38. Best thing I ever did!!

Thank you thingsdogetbetter; you sounds so strong and confident; how I wish I could be like you; I guess years of putting up with his dirty secrets have left me with no confidence and very low self steam; I never thought I was good enough for him knowing that he chose to do all that even knowing how hurt I was and I’m; thank you ladies; you are amazing

I was a weeping, insecure mess who had a crappy job and no confidence in my ability to do better. The man I loved was (now blatantly obviously) on the rebound when we got together (my superpower was my ability to ignore red flags!) and then after TWO years of me trying to be perfect and lovable ran off with a trapeze artist. A trapeza artist ffs! Lol

Packed up my life and went to teach English in Cambodia for 4 years. Now I'm happily married to an old friend, have a teaching job that fulfills me and I'm a bundle of confidence and high self esteem.

Mind you, I did swear off men for those four years. Lol.

Thingsdogetbetter; a trapeza artist; so charming lol; I’m so glad you made it through; I love stories that end well; you are a truly impressive woman and how lucky your husband is

So I keep telling him!