Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First date with an online date

9 replies

Cambridgegirl62 · 24/03/2019 10:58

Hello everyone, I need some advice
I recently took the plunge and joined a relatively good online dating site. I have not been on a date for about 5 years. I am a very together, pretty but slightly older woman with her own home and business. I have met a man, who was charming and very understanding. Within 3 days of writing he wanted to go offsite, kept saying we had to hurry as he was going on holiday in a week. I was pretty taken with him as he was warm, and friendly on the site and seemed nice. He had mixed pictures of him scuba diving some head shots and one with bare head and shoulders (which was a slight red flag). Instantly, we exchanged private emails he kept pushing like crazy for my phone number, calling me hunni (which I didn't like), hardly ever addressed me by my first name although I used his. I have tried to check him out and he seems to be in business like he said. But he keeps saying he wishes he could give me a hug, alluding to waking up with me and suchlike. I am very sensible, I love being warm and tactile, but we have only been in contact for a week and I feel uneasy. I don't like to be too forward with someone I don't know either. Oh and I wanted to meet for coffee but he keeps suggesting dinner. I would rather have a short meet first time in daylight. We are meeting at a cosy local hotel this coming tuesday.
I don't know why I feel uncomfortable. I have had other contacts and not felt uneasy. Any tips. I would much prefer to back out now. There are plenty of fish in the sea I know. I feel this man's approach might not be my thing. Thanks so much

OP posts:
CrazySheepNoir · 24/03/2019 11:05

Always trust your gut instincts. This behaviour would make me uncomfortable too.

If he is not willing to take things at your pace, then ditch him and wait for someone who is.

FredaFox · 24/03/2019 11:07

Trust your gut.

Thehop · 24/03/2019 11:07

Trust your gut every time.

“I actually think that we’re not compatible, so let’s camcel Tuesday. Good luck”

Stormyday · 24/03/2019 11:18

If you don’t want to go don’t go. Simple as that. He does sound over enthusiastic when you haven’t even met.

pog100 · 24/03/2019 11:21

You need to cancel this. This isn't how a nice respectful fun man behaves at all. Most of all you should feel happy and excited to meet, and you don't. Just cancel, it's easy at this stage

Chamomileteaplease · 24/03/2019 11:30

You sound very new to online dating Smile.

If you don't want to meet this man then don't! As a PP said above, just let him know and wish him well. It's all quite normal and all allowed!

He sounds far too pushy, you are right.

Dieu · 24/03/2019 11:57

Please believe me - and I speak as one experienced in online dating - when I say that your gut instinct will serve you well, and protect you, in this game. It is not without reason that your spidey senses are tingling.

I have ceased contact with guys who have been like this, as I wasn't comfortable hearing that guff from a total stranger.

Don't go. If he is fast forwarding things with you, then it's a practised spiel that he will be using on others. It's more about his needs than making you feel comfortable.

Cambridgegirl62 · 24/03/2019 12:00

Thank you for your answer. Yes, I am new to online dating. Did it years ago but am now slightly out of practice. I also tend to forget how important it is to rely on your inner voice. Sometimes, it's hard to walk away from a prospective date, but I know in this instance it's right. Thanks again, you helped me reach a decision.

OP posts:
Cambridgegirl62 · 24/03/2019 12:01

Thank you everyone. Very valuable advice. I appreciate it.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page