New poster here, usually a lurker but today has pushed me to register and post. I want to see if anyone else can shed light or perspective on this behaviour from my dh. Dh grew up with a diagnosed borderline mother, his father passed away when he was young and she brought up him, his sister and brother alone. She is a difficult woman, lacks empathy and has awful interpersonal relationships etc. But these behaviours have had a severe effect on dh and his siblings and I feel in many ways I'm picking up the pieces.
I guess I'm just asking how anyone else in a similar position deals with this day to day? He is so loving and such an attentive father one minute and the next just emotionally unavailable, detatched and almost withdraws affection I feel to push my buttons. He has maintained brilliant boundaries with his mother and always protects me and our daughter from her nastiness, but in spite of this, he still seems to portray her own traits from time to time. I just feel drained dealing with it but thankfully over the years have learned to detach myself and stop blaming myself.
I don't know really why I'm asking, I guess just someone telling me they know what I'm talking about would help. Thanks for reading if you got this far.