DH forgot my birthday

[keeponhustlin]

Feeling oh so low. DH forgot my birthday. We've been together over 30 years, said he was sorry but I really cant get over he just 'forgot'

OP isn't asking for too much. The least he could have done was to acknowledge the day.

Hopefully, he makes up for it by doing something nice in the coming days or so.
Happy belated birthday to you. X

Thank you to all of you who have wished me a happy birthday, that's really sweet. DH was reminded on Thursday eve of my birthday as he knew I was seeing family on Friday and Saturday. He is a workaholic and said he knew birthday was soon but didn't connect when he arranged work over wkend. He has apologised but its the sheer lack of thought that is the hurtful part. Says he is under work pressure (as always) and has a lot to think about compared to me who has nothing to think of. Talk about an apology with a sting in the tale. Damn rude. Nothing is more important than his work. Told him how sad the situation made me feel and that I felt irrelevant to his life, never any time for 'us'. He did say he would take me out when he returned but its not about gifts, going out etc. Really, do you just 'forget' after 30 plus years? Marriage is not good anyway, like two lodgers in a house and this feels like a way of putting it out there that he is totally not bothered. Impossible to have a conversation with him on a personal level. Deflects, manipulates the conversation and just doesn't or wont clarify his feelings. I have some serious thinking do to because life is pretty miserable living here with him whilst he gets on with his life.

Def let this be a turning point (from your update) it sounds miserable and you don’t need another 30 years of indifference 🎂💐

I'm so sorry Keep, that's really shit, I don't work either and it's hard when it's implied that you are more or less useless and don't understand what working is like.
It sounds like you are miserable regardless of the birthday incident.
Take time out to decide what you want your future to be.
Good luck 🍀

I’m so sorry and yes, I think he is sending you a very clear message by deliberately not doing anything for your birthday despite having a couple of days’ notice when it finally dawned on him.

By saying you “have nothing to think of” I assume he means that you are at home making his home life comfortable so that he can just crack on with his work?

You only get one life lovely, don’t waste it on a twat who doesn’t appreciate or deserve you, Being on your own and making a life for yourself is better than that, far better.

Poor you, I'd feel rubbish too. I think it's lovely to have something to celebrate. I'm kind of dreading mine this year because, whilst DH will remember, we won't do anything to celebrate....

Oh and Happy Birthday!

He came home with a beautiful card and a lovely bouquet and a further apology. Out for lunch and explaining he is trying his best and work is so busy etc etc. I do know how hard he works and if I’m honest, I do believe it was an oversight. Thank you ladies for your support

Why does he work so hard though? That is ultimately his choice....

Your second to last post is the worrying one, OP

Are you going to kerp living in this unhappy way with a man who thinks your life, concerns and doings are unimportant ?

Oh wow a whole bouquet and a card and that makes everything fine? Well don't let your happiness,satisfaction and need for affection stand in the way of him not making any efforts!

Says he is under work pressure (as always) and has a lot to think about compared to me who has nothing to think of.

This ^^ is so sad and hurtful OP as is most of your post at around 08:41. Doesn't sound as though he valued you that much.

Marriage is not good anyway, like two lodgers in a house and this feels like a way of putting it out there that he is totally not bothered.

I'm unsure of your circumstances but you may want to ensure that you (YOU yourself) are financially secure enough if the worst happens and he just becomes more distanced from you and/or you decide this relationship no longer works for you.

Good luck OP. 🌹