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Original poster

Its been weeks!!

24 replies

FuzzyLilac · 23/03/2019 21:03

NC because I am frankly embarrassed.

Dont live with DP but been together 4 years.
Up until recently good active sex life. I always wanted it more often but we have sex at least weekly which seems to suit both of us.

Its been 3 weeks since we last did it. I have sat back and waited. I have flirted. I have made subtle suggestions. I have cooked a meal, lit candles and dressed in sexy night wear tonight....nothing. Barely a glance. Not a hint. I feel so shit and embarrassed i have gone back upstairs but my ugly ass dressing gown on cried a little and now sat on the sofa writing this.

I asked if he still fancies me. He said yes just tired....can you be tired for 3 weeks?

OP posts:
Chilledout11 · 23/03/2019 21:06

That's sad. We are ten together. Kids away last night and nothing either. Nothing.

Original poster
FuzzyLilac · 23/03/2019 21:11

We have a week without DC. We are 3 days in and we have shopped, had a nice meal watched a box set and had vodka....still nothing.

I am at a loss.

OP posts:
BIGGESTBISHYO · 23/03/2019 21:14

I was going to write a thread similar to this.
It’s been 2 months for me. Been with Dh for 10 years.
Everything else between us seems fine... but our sex life is nonexistent.
I’ve stopped even bringing it up now.

TheSmallAssassin · 23/03/2019 21:18

Maybe you need to take the initiative and make the first move, rather than just hinting or flirting?

ahtellthee · 23/03/2019 21:20

Take charge. Don't get drunk. Talk dirty.

Dinks66 · 23/03/2019 21:21

I'd try asking him rather than making all sorts of assumptions.

Original poster
FuzzyLilac · 23/03/2019 21:21

Small totally made the first move.
Actually said the words I am very horny...he smiled kissed me then fed the cat Hmm

BIG does he say no or just avoid it?

OP posts:
BIGGESTBISHYO · 23/03/2019 21:42

Just avoids it. I’m sure he would follow through if I really initiated it but I don’t really want to when I know he’s not really interested (I realise how petty that sounds!)

AFistfulofDolores1 · 23/03/2019 21:46

Ask him. It's that simple.

Original poster
FuzzyLilac · 23/03/2019 21:49

Its not petty.

I have all but laid down naked and shout take me now!!

I feel rejected and that kills the enthusiasm. I am starting to sound like a sex pest and I would hate it if he did that to me.
I am trying my best to be available but not annoying. I have lost a little but of weight recently so feel ok in myself. I give him compliments. I am loving. We talk. We laugh. We kiss...then we sleep Sad

OP posts:
AFistfulofDolores1 · 23/03/2019 21:57

I have all but laid down naked and shout take me now!!

But have you said: "We're not having sex as much as we used to. I miss having sex with you, but I feel like you're not interested. Is there a problem?"

Original poster
FuzzyLilac · 23/03/2019 22:00

Yes. Tonight. He said he was tired and stressed with work.
I said what for 3 weeks??,
Now he is not speaking as he does not want an argument.

OP posts:
AFistfulofDolores1 · 23/03/2019 22:09

Stress can play a significant role in lowering a man's libido. I'm just sorry he feels that talking about it means an inevitable argument. I can understand your frustration: not only getting rebuffed, but also shut down.

fc301 · 23/03/2019 22:13

It's not about you though is it? It's about him. Maybe he's tired, stressed, ageing? Maybe it's ED, or just worry about ED.
You need to ask him in an open way that's not blaming.

Original poster
FuzzyLilac · 23/03/2019 22:14

I want to talk about it. I want to understand but he sees it as a non issue.

I spent 3 years of a 15 year relationship sexless so I left. He knows sex is as important to me as as all the other stuff.

God it used to be so good. Now its like being with a mate. We get on we laugh I have my vest times with him. Then nothing.

OP posts:
BIGGESTBISHYO · 23/03/2019 22:21

Your situation sounds nearly identical to mine!

goodfornothinggnome · 24/03/2019 03:16

Sounds pretty identical to my marriage to be fair. We go months without having sex. Every few months it becomes an issue. I've discussed with him, in varying degrees of upset that we just don't have enough sex, that I'm unhappy, that it makes me feel unattractive in myself. Nothing changes. I've been living this for 8 years

Monty27 · 24/03/2019 04:06

How old are you all? Shock

Original poster
FuzzyLilac · 24/03/2019 08:32

41

OP posts:
BIGGESTBISHYO · 24/03/2019 18:33

I’m 30!
Too young to have to give up a sex life I think..

mrsk28 · 24/03/2019 19:15

Totally understand, I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant and my husband has been too freaked by the baby moving to have sex for around 2 months now.

I get it though and we've talked about it loads. You need to ask him has he been tired for 3 weeks straight or what's going on. If it's a genuine blip it's easier to understand.

anniehm · 24/03/2019 19:17

I think it's more normal than people want to admit. Try going away for the night, works hereSmile

Moralitym1n1 · 24/03/2019 22:03

Erotic literature and a vibe.

Probably not the most constructive solution by there you go.

Moralitym1n1 · 24/03/2019 22:05

*but

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