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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lost faith I will feel this way again. (Title edited by MNHQ)

2 replies

toffeeapple123 · 23/03/2019 12:08

Fell almost instantly in love with a guy. He was flakey, has had no relationship his entire life etc. But I fell for him. We tried to make things work for a year, whenever we'd get close, he'd pull away. He did some pretty shitty things too. I was elated the last time he did it, as I cut it off and didn't look back. And now 7 months on, I am really hurting and missing him. It's never taken me this long to get over anyone or anything. I've had plenty of relationship and break up experiences. Nothing like this though - because I actually loved him. And still do. I dream about him. I've tried therapy etc and nothing is helping. Convinced myself I won't feel like this again about a man - or at least not in the few fertile years I have left. I can't even date - still feels too raw. I reached out to him the other week, and we had a friendly but empty text exchange. No regret I did it - I'm not feeling worse because of it. Just feel sad it's over.

I get a lot of attention from men in real life. It's not like I don't have options. But I'm scared I'll never have the same feeling as I did for him. For years I had dead relationships where I felt nothing. It's just so rare for me to feel this way about anyone.

Feeling sad. Any support? Can anyone shake some sense into me?

OP posts:
toffeeapple123 · 23/03/2019 15:32

Anyone?

OP posts:
MIA12 · 23/03/2019 15:36

What has your therapist said? I wonder whether you are describing hysterical bonding or some other type of unhealthy infatuation and that’s why you crave it so much and feel you won’t experience it again. Real love should feel steady and safe, you didn’t know whether you were coming or going with that man.

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