My BIL has just started the process of leaving his wife. The whys and wheres etc are long - but in essence she is an abusive alcoholic. I am hoping to show this thread to him so I do not want to say too much. I just want to be able to help with some practical advice/things he needs to think about.
The scenario:
*They have 2 daughters - 10yo and 12yo.
*They do not own their own home - rent.
*He has his own business - which can mean WFH or out of the home for long hours
*She mostly does not work. SAHM
*He has got himself a 2 bed house in town and is moving in to it next weekend.
*Live in England
*Her family in Scotland
We know he needs to go and see a solicitor or at least the CAB (and are hoping he has been, but there is only so much nagging about this week can fire at him given what he has been through.)
So apart from the solicitor what steps/things does he need to think about?
- Can he stop her taking the children to Scotland - how?
- If there is 50-50 with the children what sort of "childcare" is a feasible option for a 10&12 year old after school if he has to work out of home? He has some control over his hours so could potentially do WFH on the weeks he has them - but he needs to be traveling for 50% of his work I know this seems like a really dim question but he is stumped and I have no children so clueless.
- A follow on from that - if she abandon the girls (possible) and/or they decide they want to stay with him 100%- what steps can he put in place to look after them if he is away for work? Au pair? Babysitters? What do other newly single parents do when nothing established?
*Can he (a bit down the line) ask her to move out of the large 4 bed rental into something smaller as he is covering 2 lots of rent.
And what else does he need to think about? Finances? Spousal maintenance?
Sorry if this is long. He is reeling from it all. Though already looking 100% happier from the relief.
Thank you for any advice/experiences you can offer us/him.