H can't seem to accept it's over

[Clipoetty]

Earlier this week I told dh that our marriage is over. He is grumpy, uncommunicative, selfish and lazy. I've been trying to tell him for months, years even, that I'm really unhappy and things improve for a few weeks then go backwards. A few months ago I told him, last chance, and then this weekend there was another unpleasant incident and I honestly cannot continue like this.

Since then he's been the model husband. He obviously thinks I'm going to roll over and pretend it's all fine.

I really, really need to keep my resolve this time. Our eldest child is a teenager and he's starting to treat her the same way he treats me. Not on, not happening.

How can I keep this going? I really need to find the courage from somewhere. He's not going to make it easy and that terrifies me. I've let him treat me like shit for years, not really sure why I can't just walk away.

Not really sure what I'm asking tbh, I just need to get it out there.

The next step is to physically separate. You could ask him to leave, but he might refuse. Do you own your house or rent? And in whose name? At the end of the day, if he won't go, you'd have to arrange somewhere to rent privately for you and the dc, and take it step by step from there...

@clipoetty

Good Luck. I’m going to be in the same boat soon.

Dreading it! X

When I separated from my EXH it took 5 months between me reeling him and him leaving ..... you just need to stick to your guns but also I began to separate in a physical way too. Do you have separate bedrooms? If not can you move to a spare room? ....

Mine did exactly the same. He looked really shocked when I reminded him he needed to get going on the house search.

House is in joint names, mortgaged. Ideally I'd like him to leave but I doubt he will.

We are already in separate rooms. I moved the last of his stuff into his room the night I told him that was it.

Just got home from dropping dd off and he's being chatty and offering me wine. It's as if the last week hasn't happened.

I think I'm going to have to move me and the dc's out. It's going to really upset them, dd2 in particular doesn't deal with change well.

Im sorry that others have been, are or will be in this situation. So many selfish entitled men out there.

Strength op. I have no good advice but others will.

Once you and the dc move out, then you can concentrate on getting the house sold (or maybe you could buy him out if you can afford it?). Otherwise you could be stuck for months or even years in a bad atmosphere. That wouldn't be any better for dd2 than leaving, would it?