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Original poster

Partner won’t come away with me

15 replies

Lau247 · 21/03/2019 20:37

As the title says really.. my partner will not come away with me not even for a few days and I really do not understand I am now suspecting it’s to do with another woman/women..

Background is been together two years I’m 28 he’s 31 we’ve had a rocky Rship and it has been very on and off.. last year we booked a holiday tlgetner much to me having to push for it and we didn’t go. He didn’t give any reasons other than why are we going away if we aren’t getting on but didn’t say that till after the date we were meant to fly.. he just said nothing caused an argument a few days before and knew I’d blow up and then that was it we didn’t go.. he paid me back my half so lost a lot of money and this guy is TIGHT!

Fast forward to now nearly a year later and we’ve been trying to work on things we’ve both been through a hard time lately so I suggested going away even said it didn’t have to be abroad and just for a weekend.. he ignored the message I left it as I thought he may be busy but he just didn’t respond so I called him... and then the argument began.

He tried to bring up anything and everything to divert from the question I asked him regarding going away he let the argument escalate to the point I am in tears and threatening to end the Rship.. he doesn’t bat an eyelid and is still skirting around the issue.

I’ve today out right told him I think this is highly suspicious and just weird and it seems to me he can’t go away as he won’t be able to talk to whoever it is he’s seeing behind my back. He said I can think what I want.. he didn’t Deney it.

He said he has no issues with going away together but then comes up with excuses and brings up completely irrelevant issues.

We are now not talking and I think I have to walk away from him. It completely baffles me that the ‘man’ who says he loves me does not want to go away with me that much that he would let Me walk out of his life because of it. I was under the impression these things were what normal couples did and something nice to do together.

I’ve never suspected him as being the type to cheat but I really cannot think of any other reasons as to why he reacts like this every time it is brought up !?

OP posts:
TurquoiseLagoon · 21/03/2019 20:42

I only read your first two paragraphs and then wondered why you're bothering? Why not find someone who actually wants to spend time with you? That sounds mean but I don't intend to be

MMmomDD · 21/03/2019 20:44

Joint travel, or lack of is not the main issue here...
Having a rocky relationship that you need to ‘work on’ at a two year mark is a clear sign that it’s not working and never will.
Just don’t waste any more time on this. You are only 28. You can meet someone that will suit you better.

LailaByron · 21/03/2019 20:45

Yep, bin him off and find someone who appreciates you and wants to go away with you!

Itsal0ngN1ght · 21/03/2019 23:22

This is a deal breaker. He doesn't want to go on holiday with you. It doesn't really matter why; could be fear of flying, doesn't like to be out of his routine/comfort zone, no passport, no money etc
I agree find someone who wants to spend time with you, who enjoys travel & adventures
Life is too short

ColeHawlins · 21/03/2019 23:24

What the PPs said.

You're flogging a dead horse, sadly.

Original poster
Lau247 · 21/03/2019 23:26

Thanks for all the responses I agree I am fighting a losing battle here.. fear of flying is not the issue and nor is money. Comfort zone thing is more likely as tbh he doesn’t like doing anything other than working and going home. The only thing that seems to motivate him is money he shows no interest in anything else

OP posts:
Equalityumber · 22/03/2019 06:13

Why do you want to go away with him? If he only works and goes home he sounds a pretty dull person. Are your dates fun or does he find excuses for those too? You deserve better x

NameChangeNugget · 22/03/2019 07:00

You just need to accept you’re incompatible. He won’t change

FinallyHere · 22/03/2019 07:40

The only thing that seems to motivate him is money he shows no interest in anything else

Are you really saying that he does not show any interest in you? Why are you even trying, get rid and find someone worthy of your love and attention.

No relationship is waaay better than a bad relationship.

ShatnersWigIsActuallyAMammoth · 22/03/2019 08:10

we’ve had a rocky Rship and it has been very on and off

I don't need to read the rest. Unless you are a teenager there is never any reason to have a rocky, on and off relationship. One break up and trying again, fine. Second time, fuck it off, you're being a fool allowing heart to rule head, continually trying to make something work that clearly isn't going to.

Original poster
Lau247 · 22/03/2019 10:24

@equalityumber he’s not a dull person in terms of his personality he’s a bubbly person but he isn’t out going he won’t plan anything he’s very comfortable working and just going home he doesn’t even do things with his friends apart from just sitting around in doors drinking watching football etc. When we go out we have fun but to get him out is just hard work and I end up not even bothering to ask. When I’m not like that I like doing things going out going away etc. He didn’t even take me out for my birthday two years running but expected to go out for his. But yes I do deserve better and I’ve decided to end the Rship

@finallyhere well I guess yes I am really saying that he is always looking for new ways to make money on the side and he works constantly. He only really shows interest in me when he can see I am not bothering. Then he shows up with grand gestures etc and I get stupidly sucked back in

OP posts:
Hanab · 22/03/2019 10:29

I am thinking he is probably married or in another relationship

TwitterQueen1 · 22/03/2019 10:29

This is not what a relationship is like. Rocky roads, arguments, hard work, on/off, looking for excuses about money, flying, etc etc. Why are you bothering? Why?

SkinnyPete · 22/03/2019 10:41

But yes I do deserve better and I’ve decided to end the Rship

Good. Well done.

Original poster
Lau247 · 22/03/2019 10:45

@hanab he is 100 percent not married.. I am thinking there may be someone else but he isn’t married.

OP posts:
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