Suddenly feeling rather alone

[user2348]

Hello,
On here for a bit of a pep talk, I guess.
I recently turned 40 and am feeling rather alone. My mum died when I was 31 and I don't see much of dad (they divorced when I was 6).
I'm single, no kids, after breaking it off with a guy who wasn't treating me right. He was yet another short-lived relationship with a guy who wasn't that nice in the end. A friend saw him on a dating app the other day, he's 44, but says he's 39 - obvs wants a younger woman, despite me being younger than him. He hasn't appeared to me so at 40 I am feeling rather old and that all men want is younger women. It's depressing, and I look about 34 but it seems all about my age. He didn't even want children - which I told myself I was ok with as I may be too old anyway.
On top of that I went out with some friends last night and they are all married with kids. I felt so out of the chat, and just really rather lonely and sad, and a bit looked down on (prob in my head) for not being in the club.
I am trying to tell myself I'm ok on my own, if this is it, and that it's better than being married to the wrong person - but it can feel very scary. Plus I feel a bit judged by society for being single, never having been married, and not having kids.
I am tempted to lie and say I'm younger on OLD, but then that doesn't sit comfortably. But I really look after myself, and don't want a guy too much older.

If it’s any consolation OP , Guy Pratt a well known musician (played with Pink Floyd etc) has just announced his engagement to a woman only 3 years younger (both in their 50’s) and she’s been married twice before too . Not every guy wants a massively younger woman , it sometimes just feels like that. Put yourself as39 if you want if it’s a 35 to 39 age range, who cares at this stage!! It’s not as if many of the blokes don’t tell the odd porky too.

Ah don't feel down xx

But I do get exactly what you mean.

I'm 44 and unmarried, no kids. I'm a charity worker and most in this field are similar, or generally different from the norm. I did a year in corporate and God was I the odd one out!!!

But getting to the actual problem, you can meet someone. It's absolutely possible. Lower your age if you think it will work. All I can say is, I met a fabulous hunky man online, who is 6 yrs younger and likes it, although I could do without, but he's lovely. It is possible.

Get off the beaten track, get out all spring and get dating. Xxxx

I'm 42, unmarried and no kids. Yes I do get looked down on and people think it is weird. I never had a burning desire for kids and never met anyone who I wanted to have kids with.
I have lived with two different men and was engaged to the second but we split - he had alcohol and prostitute problems among other things.

I never imagined I would be alone at 42 and I do sometimes feel like I am a bit of a failure because I haven't been married. I am also not a career woman. I suppose some people would describe me as a bit "Bohemian". Whatever.... schoolfriends are now starting to get divorced and one is onto her 3rd divorce already... so obviously being married isn't the be all and end all.

Maybe you will meet someone and maybe you won't - same goes for me. We have to just get on with having a nice life as independent woman and if a man comes along who enhances it - great.

It is ok on your own. Fill your life with activities and little pleasures.