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Leaving b/c dull sex life

4 replies

amieeb · 21/03/2019 01:08

So I'm currently 13 weeks pregnant and my libido has returned with a kick. My partner however wouldn't even know It had gone. So years ago when we first got together the sex was fine and the frequency was fine. Over the last year it has slowed down a lot and recently has been almost non existent. My partner is one of the horniest people I have ever met but still I pretty much have to initiate any sort of sex and most of the time I am turned away. He then moans when I just sleep in the evenings (exhausted from pregnancy) saying that if i was actually awake sometimes then he would be able to get some. The sex itself is just dull like it's always just me putting in all the effort and doing all the work while he just lies there. He is well aware that he lasts less than a minute but makes no effort to please me at all. We have spoke about these things so many times and he just brushes me off and says it shouldn't matter. Well to me it does matter. Not only does it bother me that the sex is just nonexistent or centred around me but I know it's not that he is not horny because he goes and gets himself off every night. I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like it's enough of a reason to leave him but it upsets me and makes me feel like I'm not worth it.

OP posts:
WooWooCocktail · 21/03/2019 01:14

I don’t know what the opinions on here will be like but if you weren’t pregnant I’d say yes leave him. It’ll only make you want sex elsewhere and resent him. But when you are getting bigger and have a new born are you really going to be having sex anyway? It’s a hard one. I’d tell you feel like the relationship is in danger from the lack of sex and see how that conversation goes.

MiniTheMinx · 21/03/2019 05:14

In 27 weeks from today sex will probably be the last thing on your mind.

Maybe he avoids sex because he's aware of just how disappointing the whole thing is between you. It's not inconceivable that he has become averse to it because he doesn't know how to play please you, has lost all confidence and whilst worrying about lasting a minute feels at a loss to know how to improve on this.

ltk · 21/03/2019 05:39

If he is not trying to get you off, then telling you it doesn't matter if he puts no effort into your pleasure... yeah, leaving is a good idea. Does he ignore your needs in other areas of life?

ltk · 21/03/2019 05:41

And plenty of women are still having sex quite happily right up until labour. Being pregnant does not necessarily mean that you go off sex.

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