Dating Advice Needed!!

[Alexander1993]

Hi! I need some advice! I have a mutual friend with a girl who has caught my eye. She is very beautiful, has a great energy and from what I have found out about her from her social media account it appears that we have a considerable amount in common. Our mutual friend asked her if she is seeing anyone and she said no. The mutual friend then mentioned me to her and she said that I seem nice - although we haven't even been introduced yet and she knows who I am (we go to the same gym/health club) so that must be a great sign. Anyway, I haven't seen her in a few weeks and I am wondering what I should do next.

I want to see her in person then go up to her and talk to her before asking her out on a date. But if I don't see her by Monday I am tempted to ask our mutual friend to organise for the three of us to go out OR ask another friend I have at the club if he'd want to go on a double date (his girlfriend is friends with the girl I am heavily interested in).But that does take the romance out of it because I'd like to ask her in person myself.

Any advice or comments!? I am excited by the possibility of what may be as I genuinely think, as crazy as this may sound, that I will hit it off with this girl massively.

I think I'll give it the weekend and see. I am deliberately going to two classes I know she frequents (a HIIT class and a yoga class) and if she isn't in them, then I will grow impatient and want to do one of the abovementioned things to meet her. What do you think?

Also, if I see her in person would it make her uncomfortable after 10-15 minutes of talking to me if I asked her out on a date? I don't see why and I want to be as romantic as possible (without being over the top). If I have to go on a social outing to get to know her the first time sobeit, but I would rather approach her with full confident, talk for a while then ask her out on a date.

Thank you in advance!!

Also, if I see her in person would it make her uncomfortable after 10-15 minutes of talking to me if I asked her out on a date?

Maybe. Depends on how you come across and on her feelings about being approached for dates.

I don't see why and I want to be as romantic as possible (without being over the top)

Please do not attempt to be romantic. It's totally inappropriate when you've never even spoken to this woman before. Keep it casual and light. "Hey, fancy grabbing a coffee on Saturday? There's a place I know that does really nice coffee and great value lunches."

I am excited by the possibility of what may be as I genuinely think, as crazy as this may sound, that I will hit it off with this girl massively.

Yeah you might do, but you might not. Right now your post is coming over very intense, which will freak the shit out of most women and result in you not getting a first date, let alone a second. You also sound like you have a template in your head for how you want her to be; you might be trying to slot a square peg into a round hole. You need to take a metaphorical cold shower and play it cool.

Totally agree with what you said. I was very much excited when I wrote this post.

I meant romantic in the sense that if something comes of it I want the memory to be that I walked up to her and asked her out etc not that our friend set us up. But I guess that isn’t that important.

Also thank you for your considered response!

I agree about being intense and freaking the shit out of her!

Starting to go to her gym classes is quite intrusive. If she likes you, she may find that lovely - but if she’s not interested, it’s really a bit creepy.

How can you think you have a “considerable” amount in common, just from social media?

Is it Facebook that you’re reading? If so, send her a friend request. Her friend already told her about you. If she accepts it, just send her a message asking if she fancies a coffee after the gym one week.

Don’t try to create some big “how we met” story. It’s just fake. My “how we met” story is dull as shit (OLD!) but my marriage is happy and full of romance.

Thanks for your message. I usually go to one of the classes she goes to but will pop into another one on Saturday because it’s convenient for me and I may see her. Not creepy IMO.

She has a blog she posts about on her Instagram and I read a few of them and that’s what makes me think we have a lot in common.

Anyway, I’ve calmed down a bit. If I see her I will casually chat to her then ask her out for a drink and see what develops (if she says yes).