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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

blocking family members on social media

18 replies

Ricoetbello · 20/03/2019 18:24

Have you ever blocked or been blocked by family members on social media and dont understand why?

So I realised that my cousins and their snobby wives blocked me on social media around 8 years ago suddenly. I noticed when I didn't see them in family events photos.

After I realised this I dont talk to them much at events but they act like normal as if they haven't done anything or they've forgotten they've cut me out. , this gives me the "too faced" impression.

One of them unlocked me when my dad died and added me back to then block me again... (done this 4 times now at different family occasions) which pissed me off even more.

My sister tells me I should just forget about it as I'll always see them for my nephews/nieces which I love and try and be nice with them but I cant as I feel like "why should i"

OP posts:

Bookfour · 20/03/2019 21:31

I have friends who are in a family like this. It sounds awful and so unnecessary. Unfortunately I don't have a simple solution.

Halo84 · 21/03/2019 02:19

Block them from your social media so they cannot see it or unblock you. Don’t speak to them.

Wiredforsound · 21/03/2019 04:27

Do you post a lot of irrelevant nonsense, memes, inspirational quotes, or air your dirty linen in public? Because if you did I’d probably block you too.

darkriver19886 · 21/03/2019 04:39

My sister removed me from Facebook a while back. I realised when I went to add her on something and couldn't.

Originally thought it was because I posted a satire article bashing Tommy Robinson (she is a supporter...) but recently found out that it's because she couldn't handle me talking about my MH.

I am open on my FB as I don't see many people socially. Its hurtful but it's her choice at the end of the day.

SweetRosie92 · 21/03/2019 05:19

I have had a few family members do it to me. When I see them I am cordial but not overly enthusiastic by any means. I would never give them the satisfaction of mentioning it to them.
I think some people use SM as a way to wield power and intimidate others and I don't play those games. I don't like FB all that much anyway OP. If you haven't knowingly offended anyone and they don't have the guts to tell you what you've done then just get on with it and let them find someone else to play mind games with.

MigGril · 21/03/2019 05:36

Well I have blocked my SIL on Facebook, hope she hasn't noticed as I've just stopped her newsfeed. Mainly as she constantly posts dog stuff that culters up my news feed that I'm not interested in. It's not personal.

Blondebakingmumma · 21/03/2019 06:10

My sister blocked my mum and they still get on great. It’s just my mum support particular views my sister doesn’t agree with and isn’t interested in clogging up her news feed. My hubby blocked my mum for the same reason

mogratpineapple · 21/03/2019 10:11

I have blocked most of my inlaws because a few of them felt that it was ok to comment on my activities (holidays, events) and tell me what I should do instead. The others put up political posts and facebook is a fun escape to me not a party political broadcast.

I have unfollowed a couple of my own family because their posts are nothing but selfies and foul-mouthed memes.

FabulouslyFab · 21/03/2019 10:29

It’s only social media, it’s not real life. Don’t worry yourself.

GetOffTheTableMabel · 21/03/2019 10:37

We have a family member whom we love but who posts political views that we don’t support and which frequently cause huge irritation. It bothers us that other people (especially people who have added DH as a friend but with whom he only really has a working relationship) might think we share those views because we share a name. We love them and spend time with them without discussing politics but we’d rather not read their views.
Even this post makes me feel uncomfortable and want to explain that the differences relate to environmental policy not race or Brexit.
Perhaps your relatives love you but dislike your Facebook posts.

TallAsTara · 21/03/2019 16:51

Have you ever blocked or been blocked by family members on social media and dont understand why?

Yes, for no obvious reason either!

My FB is very quiet and nothing personal or political on it. I only use it occasionally to contact people.

Yet two cousins asked to be friends, messaged me, then blocked me a couple of months later, with no reason in either case.

It was actually very hurtful. I only found out when I messaged one of them and it bounced back as undelivered , which I then realised was because I was blocked.

One of them I would never bother speaking to again - obviously I've offended her but no idea how as I've just replied pleasantly to a couple of messages - I'm not big on FB as I said. The other I have since seen and have been more than pleasant to but will have no further input and would never pursue the relationships further. Don't know why they "friended" me, then blocked me. Very hurtful. Its easy to "unfollow" people if you don't want to have much contact with them.

I decided most of, if not all, my relatives are just unreliable people who blow hot and cold and I can't be bothered with them.

TallAsTara · 21/03/2019 16:53

Two-faced is about right, OP. I would say, not worth your time, thoughts or energy. There are more pleasant people around.

commentson · 21/03/2019 17:00

I’ve been blocked by a family member and I really don’t care. She blocked me because I disagreed with something she said!

Magmatic80 · 21/03/2019 17:03

I’ve unfollowed some family members who’s views I don’t agree with because I don’t want to see it. I wouldn’t be offended if they’d done the same back. We’re still friendly at family gatherings. As pp said, it’s social media and doesn’t matter

NotTheFordType · 21/03/2019 22:18

One of them unlocked me when my dad died and added me back to then block me again... (done this 4 times now at different family occasions) which pissed me off even more.

Sounds like they were less resilient than you.

Osirus · 21/03/2019 23:47

After a big falling out two weeks ago I blocked my MIL, BIL and his partner. I blocked them because they don’t like that I don’t comment on or “like” their posts. I had already unfollowed them, but they didn’t know that. I blocked them and usually keep my account deactivated, so it looks like I’ve just closed my account. I don’t want to cause any upset, but they are so weird about Facebook posts. I don’t really use it apart from keeping up with local events.

IamPickleRick · 21/03/2019 23:50

I have blocked some of my DH’s family. I’d rather they didn’t know what I was up to, it will only give them more to complain about. I cold resurrect Jesus and there’d still be something to find fault with.

TallAsTara · 22/03/2019 13:14

The OP's not been back, but she has given no indication that she was writing controversial posts etc. I don't why posters are assuming that she is to blame for their actions.

I don't get the "resilient" comment further up, I think it is probably the opposite. Its more likely rude and insensitive, picking you up and dropping you like a doll (repeatedly!). They could easily "unfollow" you, but blocking seems to me the lazy and insensitive option for family members, unless OP has done something to genuinely offend them.

I hate FB anyway! I don't understand why people are always blabbing on about their politics and so forth, assuming other people must mutely agree!

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