Is citalopram killing my relationship?

[helpamummaout]

I'm going to try keep this short whilst getting all the details in, hoping if anyone has been through similar they could talk to me.
Me and my Dp have been together almost 4 years, have 15 month old twins, always had a great relationship, love each other, so compatible, he's everything I want in a partner. I went through PND after having the twins and ended up having CBT and on citalopram anti depressants. My sex drive is none existent and recently we have sat down to speak about the relationship. I had been feeling like we were more just parents than a couple recently but didn't realise how my partner was feeling, it turns out he's not happy either and feels like we are a great team but not a couple and he has began feeling depressed. When I sit and think how I have been I feel so guilty. We never have Sex, I back away when he tries giving me and kind of affection, I've basically been treating him like a house mate . When I've thought about it I really think it's down to the citalopram, has anyone experienced anything similar. I am going to try get into the Drs in the next few days to discuss options with a Dr.
Thanks for reading this far

My father was a clinical psychologist, and he said that he often saw that antidepressants caused more problems for his patients than they solved. In particular, people's problems with sex within their relationships could contribute to depressive symptoms, and then antidepressants would create worse problems with sex. He felt that antidepressants were overprescribed for mild to moderate depression, when other therapies had not been tried.

My DP was in citalopram for about 6 months when we started dating. Plus a few years before. He NEVER initiated sex, although we did have it pretty relatively still (helped that it was a new relationship I expect). But less than I would have liked. It was okay, but the rejection did affect me and I was a little worried about it long term. Coming off it was horrific, but after a few months he wanted to have sex (as much if not more than me).

Obviously being depressed and anxious would have killed his libido anyway. But by the time we were together he wasn't depressed anymore, just scared of stopping the tablets. So for us it worked fine him stopping after a few months as it motivated him to give it a go without them and go through the side effects of stopping. Not such an easy decision if you are actively depressed and recovering now, with a need for medical intervention.

I do feel like I could come off them, it's just a scary prospect as you hear horror stories about the horrible side effects when weaning off. I'm going to ring my Gp this morning I think, I will keep you all posted on what happens. Thanks for taking the time out to talk to me it's really helped

Citalopram totally killed my libido! I was on it for about five years in total.

I'm so "checked out" of my emotions
That was what happened to me when i took Citalopram.
As soon as i took the first one i felt 'zombified' as i was going through the motions and doing things but wasn't 'connected', a bit like disassociation but not.
My GP changed me over to Sertraline and it was much better.

Yeah exactly @CantStopMeNow ! I've just been going through day to day life and not really noticed until recently how much I've been distancing myself from people. The Dr said I can come off, he said I can go cold turkey if I like! I said I'll wean off. If I can't manage I'll ask to go on a different one like sertraline I think

So the Dr said I can just come off cold turkey! I'm feeling very anxious about it tonight think I'm going to come off gradually

Don't do cold turkey, that is terrible advice, especially from a doctor.
I did it once and it was awful.

Come off slowly so your body adjusts, good luck

I will be doing, thank you

Don't do cold turkey, that is terrible advice, especially from a doctor.
I did it once and it was awful.

I did it once and was fine.

Much will probably depend on the dose you are taking and how long you've been on it for.

As I said, my DP had a REALLY rough time. Even coming down by half at a time.

If you struggle they may be able to switch you to fluoxetine to wean off as they tend go be easier for that and there is a relatively cheap liquid the Dr can prescribe for anyone really struggling so you can titrate off very slowly.

Most people don't have as hard a time as DP. But if you do, don't be scared to go back and ask for more input from Dr.

Well I once went 4 days accidentally without as I couldn't get to the GP then it was closed and that was awful! So I don't think it would work for me but hopefully just gradually coming off will work better

I don't know what your GP is thinking. No one should just cold turkey off anti-depressants. Not everyone gets withdrawal effects but not reducing them slowly can lead yo a relapse.

I thought the same @SixDot941 , he even had a screen open with the side effects but didn't mention any of them to me! I was in and out within 3 mins.

How are you feeling now? has your relationship improved?

I know this is an old thread, but there are dozens of medications for depression. If one is giving you unpleasant side effects, or you haven't got on with a few, please go back to your GP/consultant so they can try something ele. There are loads of things they can try.

Wellbutrin (bupropion) is supposed to not bugger your libido, so it couldn't hurt to bring that into the meds discussion with your GP. IANAD and it might not be suitable for you but no harm in raising the question.