How do you tell if a man is on the rebound?

[MaiaRindell]

I have recently started seeing someone. I have known him for a few years through friends. We have always got on well and had a laugh together but I never saw him in a romantic light. A few weeks ago, he asked me out. His marriage broke up last year. Things had calmed down and they both believe this is for the best. A couple of weeks before he asked me, he'd found out his ex had started seeing someone so got in touch with me. I really like him as a person so I went. We had a really nice time, get on like a house on fire and I really enjoy his company. This has all come as a complete surprise to me. But he has confessed he has liked me for several years. Things are moving slowly but he seems very keen. I am a bit nervous. How do I know if he is on the rebound. Does it sound suspicious? I am very bad at reading relationships and have made poor choices in the past.

He is a shy 54 year old academic type if this makes any difference!

How do you tell if anyone is on the rebound? Are men and women any different in that respect? I tend to think not. But I can't see anything in your posting that screams out "this might be a rebound"

Well if it was a recent break up , then the % risk goes up. If he was the dumped party and if he showed signs of not accepting the rejection. The risk goes up.

But a lot of people don’t stay single for very long and look for new partners quite quickly. Me I would need a lot of time to get over someone. But he may have been over her for years before they split.

You know this better than us because you know him and their marriage.

@ShatnersWi I should have said 'How can I tell if this man is on the rebound?'

You can’t tell really without taking it slowly, dating him and seeing how it goes.

Don’t get invested too fast. Make sure you just date casually for a good few months. Exclusively if you like, but nothing serious or thinking about the future. You’ll realise pretty fast if he’s still hung up on his ex as he won’t be able to stop talking about her. But in reality relationships end for lots of reasons and even if you two don’t work out it doesn’t mean it’s because of his prior relationship. I met my OH two weeks after my ex left me and I was already completely over it and in a good place and we’ve been together several years very happily.

Some people, especially ones with a lot to offer, don’t stay single very long. If you snooze on this guy for no other reason than that he was only recently with someone else you might well find someone else gets in there first!

Maybe because he's always liked you his relationship broke down?
Not your fault but it is a thought.

If he's bitter, slags off his ex, doesn't want to commit or compares you to her I'd run for the hill.

I got with my bf 3 months after he split from his wife, she was still living with him and the papers to start divorce proceedings only happened about a week before I met him. He didn't see the divorce coming. I was extremely worried it was too soon however I came to realize it wasn't and he had come to terms and realised the marriage wasn't good.
an ex had been broken up for over a year from his wife and was on the rebound....I was the rebound.
It's about the individual.

She left him so it was definitely nothing to do with me. They hadn't had a proper marriage for many years, hadn't slept together for 7 years and had separate bedrooms. But he would have been happy to continue on in the marriage. He says he can now see the split is for the best and says he wants the split as much as she does. Other than that, he doesn't really mention her. I do know her too so it would be easy to discuss her. He does not seem bitter or angry.

He just seems very keen. I have been single for ages and I'm enjoying the attention but don't want to get in too deep.

I met dp 10 days after I left my exh.

We had a brief fling that started a few weeks after that. That was rebound. We stayed in touch and friends after it ended. And then got together properly around a year after my marriage had ended.

His ended a few months prior to mine. We are each others rebound and not a rebound.

My marriage was over a long time before I left though. My point is that you cant tell. You just need to take it slow.

You can't know and time served is irrelevant.

I met my dp exactly two months after my ex asked for a divorce. Only I knew that I didn't harbour feelings of wanting my ex back. I still had related issues to the divorce process making me angry but that was it.

The only thing I can say about knowing you are rebounding or with someone who is on the rebound is that the relationship feels "off" it's too intense, they rush commitment, they don't seem to see anything that is a negative about you. You are a replacement and a warm body and you do feel that.