Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Inappropriate behaviour - WWYD?

25 replies

ladygaga14 · 20/03/2019 08:33

My husband & I received a knock at the door very late one night. The woman next door was very drunk & hysterical & had lost her keys, she was very upset so my husband & I helped her by taking her in. I gave her a cardigan to wear as she was frozen & made her a cup of tea before we drove her to her boyfriends house to collect keys. I went over & above that evening to ensure she was ok, at that time we didnt really know this woman but went over & above, phoning around the pubs she’d Been in to find out if her bag/keys had been handed in. Since then she has been overly friendly/interested towards my husband & I told him I don’t like it. Fast forward to a year later. My husband bumped into her on a night out, he was not drinking however she again was in a complete state & my husband (being a good citizen) & his friend offered to give her a lift home. On arrival at her house she asked him to sleep with her. My husband took almost a year to tell me this as he didn’t want any drama. However I feel completely stupid having been friendly with her since. I am so angry now & feel like such a fool. WWYD? Do I pretend it never happened or completely blank her & let her figure it out?

OP posts:

KOKOtiltomorrow · 20/03/2019 08:37

Why did he chose to tell you now? Do you trust his version of events? If yes, I would have it out with her so she was in no doubt that any "frriendship" with you was over and for her not to come to you for help or support again.

wishywashy6 · 20/03/2019 08:37

To be honest if she was that drunk she may not even remember saying it.
I'd probably just make a joke out of it if the opportunity arises, otherwise ignore.

ShatnersWig · 20/03/2019 08:39

She was out of her skull on booze.

A female friend of mine has a tendency to ask men to fuck her (using those precise words) when she has had too much to drink. I've known her many years and she's even done it to me twice. I've obviously declined and when I have told her about it she has been mortified. She's finally realised she needs to stop after a couple of glasses.

So I'd tend to forget about it. Unless it happens again when she is stone cold sober.

IncrediblySadToo · 20/03/2019 08:41

What made him tell you now?

PaterPower · 20/03/2019 08:42

You didn’t like her behaviour anyway, so surely this doesn’t change how you feel about her?

IMO your DH did the right thing in not mentioning her pass at him - she was drunk and he wasn’t interested. Why create unnecessary drama, particularly with a next door neighbour.

Are you still “friends” or has contact dropped to just being someone you occasionally see putting the bins out? If it’s the latter then I’d just leave it be.

LemonTT · 20/03/2019 08:43

Interesting that she knocked on your door and she seems to have a thing for your husband. I wonder if that was their first meeting. Quite the drama emerging methinks.

I’m not entirely sure why you pursued a friendship with someone like this but just end it.

BlueMerchant · 20/03/2019 08:45

I wonder if the woman can actually remember asking your husband to sleep with her if she was very very drunk so blanking her may not really get your point across!. As she is still being overly friendly I'd have to blurt it out that it's quite embarrassing for yourself and oh how she is being over friendly and tell her you both still cringe about the time she wanted your oh to sleep with her. I'd say it's best if she keeps her distance as neither of you are interested in being friends and oh only feels pity.

Original poster

ladygaga14 · 20/03/2019 08:45

She added him on social media & only added me months later. I thought that was odd at the time & was suspicious of her. She has ignored me in the street a few times also. I’m forever taking in parcels for her too. I’ve deleted her from social media as I don’t want anything to do with her however I don’t want any hassles or drama.

OP posts:

Original poster

ladygaga14 · 20/03/2019 08:47

Just to add. I’ve ceetainly never pursued any ‘friendship’ with this woman. Just say hello to her & generally be neighbourly. The 1st time she appeared on my door I was lucky to remember her name!

OP posts:

AssassinatedBeauty · 20/03/2019 08:52

There's no drama here. This woman sounds troubled and it sounds like she's trying to latch onto your husband because he (and you) were kind to her.

He didn't tell you about what she said to him because he knew you didn't like her being over friendly.

I wouldn't bother being angry. I would feel pity for her, and distance yourself from her and her dramatics. Don't take parcels in for her, you don't need to do that.

Sadiesnakes · 20/03/2019 09:57

I'd say there's way more to this then your dh has admitted to.

ShatnersWig · 20/03/2019 09:58

I'd say there's way more to this then your dh has admitted to

Why?

Hanab · 20/03/2019 10:02

Why? Because this is MN and we are always suspicious of things like this .. we read all sorts of things happening and usually people are spot on in recognising the red flags

LemonTT · 20/03/2019 10:04

I think Sadies reply is based on the initial presentation of the story. It was not clear it was a neighbour. I got the impression this woman was some random stranger with no connection to them. Who then kept mysteriously appearing in their lives.

She’s a neighbour with a drink problem who has behaved inappropriately towards her husband drunk and possibly sober on more than one occasion. They should both be cutting her.

wishywashy6 · 20/03/2019 10:07

Yes I apparently did it to my best friends brother once after a lot to drink 🤦🏼‍♀️ known him since we were kids, he's practically my brother and I would definitely not go there 😆
We all laugh about it now, including his girlfriend

Sadiesnakes · 20/03/2019 10:41

Woman turning up "randomly" to their door drunk, adding dh on social media long before op, asking dh to fuck her, him keeping that a secret, (big red flag), and her ignoring op in street dispite OP's kindness...

It's a no brainer really.🤔

Frenchmontana · 20/03/2019 12:22

Why did he tell you now?

MsDogLady · 20/03/2019 21:31

I am also wondering what prompted him to tell you now?

snowball28 · 21/03/2019 02:47

What made him tell you now? My suspicious side is tingling . .

Monty27 · 21/03/2019 03:36

Oh. You might be about to find out more. Hopefully not.

Frenchmontana · 21/03/2019 08:26

OP clearly doesnt want to answer the why now question.

Which makes me think, deep down she knows theres more to this. Something has happened that has made him tell her.

She might just not be ready to hear from others thats theres more to it.

KOKOtiltomorrow · 21/03/2019 08:42

@Frenchmontana......agree

Orangeslemon24 · 21/03/2019 09:55

She's an alcoholic. Like other posts say there is no drama. Just cut her off.

pumpastrotter · 21/03/2019 10:23

I had two 'good' friends who did this too, always too drunk to remember, apparently. Whilst 'so drunk', one shagged my boyfriend at the time in the room next to me, the other shagged her best friend's boyfriend in similar circumstances. Of course the guys were dogs for it, but I will never trust anyone again who is that kind of drunk.

Fedupofthisrubbish · 21/03/2019 10:29

She's an alcoholic. Feel sorry for her and avoid.

My brother had a similar experience. He thought she was ridiculous and literally ran home. He decided to not tell his wife in case it caused her stress but I know he sort of wished he could just because it was funny.

He avoided her afterwards completely however. Your dh should do the same.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread