Scared for the kids. I can't do this again

[neverletgojack]

I got married at 19 and had 2 kids. I separated from my abusive DH when I was 21.

I then met a man who I fell madly in love with, he has a daughter. We have been together for a good few years, we lived in my rented house for years then we moved from my hometown to his, we bought a house, the kids moved schools, I moved jobs to work nights so I could be home during the day so we didn't have to worry about childcare.

9 months later he wants to break up. The details don't really matter.

So here I am sitting the night before my youngest sons birthday. Single again, wondering how the fuck I am going to be a single mum again. How am I going to move back to my hometown again and show my face after another broken relationship. What the fuck am I going to do with the kids school! I know barely anyone in the town we are in, those I do know are his friends.

I don't know if I can do this again. I am so ashamed. I am so heartbroken and feel so helpless. I don't want to move them schools again. I don't want to leave my job which I love. I don't want to loose my stepdaughter.

I don't know how I am going to cope.

Please someone help.

You can do it and you will. Everything will be ok. You escaped an abusive marriage, you can definitely get through this.

I'm so sorry OP, that sounds really difficult.

Is it an option to stay in your current location - would mean your kids not having to leave school, and you keeping your job - and widening your social circle?

Do you want to go back to your hometown or can you build a life on your own where you are? If you love your job and can make childcare work, that’s a good start. Moving school a lot isn’t ideal and conceivable to some, but my ex husband was in the army and we had to move primary more than I’d have liked, it hasn’t affected their secondary education as i was able to ‘fill the gaps’at home.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago. I moved here to be with my now exh and I had a dd from a previous relationship. We went on to have a ds together, so when we split, moving back wasn't really an option. I made my life here and 15 years later really consider it my home. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get to know people through work etc.

Hello sorry you are feeling low. Theres no shame in the end of a relationship - takes two to tango. Ive been divorced and my current long term relationship is on dodgy ground....

Where are you living - in the family home? If not cant you stay locally to keep DCs at same school? Can you alter your hours at work to do days? Can you involve yourself with school to meet other mums? They’ll be lots of single mums no doubt. I was a single mum for 4 years and in all honesty i think it was easier - no one other than DS to worry about or to have to please.

Have you got some family to support you? Get legal advice re your position re house you bought together so you know where you stand. You can get a free half hour often.

You can cope... you had 2 kids by 21 i could barely take care of myself at that age! Take it one day at a time and get all the support you can