Gut feeling v proof

[lora1231]

Hi guys. Just looking for some friendly advice. I'm currently going slightly insane over the thought my partner is talking/seeing/involved with another lady.

I've no real proof of this it's just an extreme gut feeling. He went out on a lads night and didn't come home, after that a female appeared on his insta, then Facebook, now she likes every jolly thing he posts.
He got drunk a lil while ago and was rambling about how I was the one and no other girl compares, way over the top, maybe I read too much into it but it felt like a guilty conscience.

Yesterday I heard him on the phone talking to a friend when he didn't realise I had arrived home and I heard him say "I told Lora I was with you all day" this was referring to a sat when I was working.

I asked him about it/her and he said he met her once she's a friends little sister.
I literally can't shake the feeling somethings going on but he swears blind it's nothing.

Am I crazy or should I trust my gut!?

Always trust yourself /gut.

Trust your gut

So he is getting his friend to lie and say he was with them all day while you were at work?
Where was he?

The thing is you don't need proof. You just need to know that you don't trust him. Relationships can not work with no trust - whether their is a reason for it or not. You don't need proof as permission to leave or confront.

You're saying you don't have proof but you've just written a post that is full of proof.

Never ever doubt female intuition and your gut feelings

It doesn't sound good I'm afraid!

I dont believe in gut over proof.

I am seen some people make spectacular fuck ups because they believe their gut over everything else.

But I wouldn't say this a gut feeling. He stayed out when he normally doesnt. She is appearing on social media and you know he lied about where he was Saturday. That's more than just a gut feeling.

Go with your gut, doesn't sound right to me!

No "proof"? You actually have quite a bit OP.

He's keeping you both on whilst he makes up his mind, or he's waiting for her to make up her mind. Either way, in the absence of children/joint mortgage, you've no reason not to end it today.

I'd want to tell him that I am worried, that I need him to prove he isn't cheating.
If he's apologetic and wants to show you he isn't, then ok. If he gets angry and defensive, then he is.

I hear what you're all saying. The night he stayed out he rang me at 7am apologising saying he fell asleep at his friends. Not completely unheard of but usually it doesn't bother me as I never felt this feeling before.

He's home every evening, leaves his phone around me, doesn't have a passcode on there so I could check if I wanted to but I'm not that kinda person.

He's very loving, attentive, I'm invited along to most social gatherings with his friends.

It was the phone call that's pushed me over the edge; that and this stupid woman cropping up every two secs on social media

Trust your gut! I used to feel really sick and get anxious I then found out that each of those times was when my ex was cheating on me.

Well the fact he lied to you using his friend as alibi doesn't sound good!

Lora, you actually heard him asking his friend to cover for him. I would absolutely confront him about this.

Posted too soon. Honestly, you can’t unhear his dodgy conversation with the friend. They were getting the story straight. Tackle this now.

I'd ask him what he meant when he said 'I told Lora I was with you all day'.

Rather than go crazy and listening to your gut - that might or might not exist - check his phone.
At least you’ll know one way or another.

Trust your gut.

Personally, I would check his phone. And that's not something I would usually suggest, but he's asking his mate to cover for him for something.

You could you tell him that you overheard his conversation, but he could then deny it and you'd have no proof.

Find the proof. You already know.

The fact that he's lied about his frienship with this woman or covered up somehow in itself reveals that he wanted to keep it secret from you. If nothing has happened yet then it has the potential to so I would call him out.
I've had similar stuff happen and I was a fool to believe her keep saying it was just a workmate that she had a flirty friendship with because he's like that 'with everyone'. (yeah right).

The overheard conversation would be enough proof for me. Can I also add the fact that he’s not being secretive with his phone means nothing. Everyone knows that being glued to or secretive with a phone is suspicious. If the OW knows he has a partner it’s not inconceivable that they will have a system such as the man messaging first, no messaging him at home etc. Plus if he thinks you’re at all suspicious then he’ll be deleting messages and call logs anyway. Sorry you’re going through this.