Parents living with me and my partner

[Harriet130410]

Looking for advice please. My parents have lived with my and my partner for 4 years now, due to them not being able to pay their mortgage anymore, so they asked to move in, and my father would look after our 7 month old daughter when I went back to work. Agreed for them to stay till daughter went to school, which she did last September. How can I ask them to move out without causing a fallout? My mother gets offended easily. Me and my partner need our own time together now. Help. Stuck in a bad situation.

Why couldn't they pay their mortgage anymore?
I think you just need to bite the bullet and have a family sit down.
You need your time now without others in your space.
Can they now afford rent if they moved out?

I think you need to drop some hints and then tell them that you want to sit down and discuss at the weekend. I think then they have a few days to discuss between themselves so it doesn’t get too het up.
How is their financial situation now? Are either of them working?

Your partner is a saint for putting up with this. So your mum gets offended? That's how she continues to leech off you. No more hints. Time to talk about their moving on.

Have a chat with them and say now that DDs in school, they need to look for somewhere to live as agreed when they moved in.

Try and agree a timeframe 3 months maybe.

Tell them you and DH need l space for your family unit.

Do you have any siblings?

What is their current financial situation like? Do they have an income and why couldn't they pay the mortgage?

Time to put on your brave pants and have the "time to go" conversation. Your mother getting offended isn't an excuse to allow this situation to go no any longer.

No more hints; you now have to give them notice to leave. They've already been in your house 4 years and you're looking at many more years to come particularly if you do not act. They have taken your kindness and trampled it along with your previously set boundary.

Let her get so called offended; she does that as a delaying tactic to put you off from having such a conversation. Its not your fault that your parents have been in such financial difficulties.

What is the financial position of your parents? It seems that it all hinges on that. If they can't afford to rent I think you could make them homeless and then the council would have to rehouse them.

You need a family discussion. If your mum gets offended you will need to explain respectfully that the issue is not getting shelved just because she doesn't like it.

Perhaps a two part discussion. First to establish that you need them to move out. They may be under the illusion that you and your DH are perfectly happy with the status quo. This might cause a lot of fallout.

Then they go off and see what's possible in terms of housing. Second meeting a couple of weeks later once they know more to discuss concrete plans, time frame of the move.

Why did you leave it this long! The agreement was until your DD started school and they’ve taken your silence as a green light to stay.

You know your parents better than we do but I suspect you were hoping that they would take more responsibility for their lives but your silence has only enabled their dependency on you.

Time to put verbs in your conversations with them.

That’s one helluva situation. Can they afford to move out?

Did you talk to them @harriet130140

This must be so awkward. Could you have a look around and ‘casually’ mention a nice rental property you’ve seen that they’d love? And use their reaction to gauge how to proceed?